There was nothing more to be said or done, and I left the academy for home. I was sincerely sorry for what had happened. Even a quarrel in which I had been the victor had no pleasant reflections for me. I would have submitted to any punishment except the flogging, and borne the injustice of it without a complaint; but I had been required to confess that of which I was not guilty, and I could not do that. I hated a lie of any kind, and I could not tell one to save myself from the consequences of the tyrant's rage and injustice.
I considered all the events of the day as I walked home, and came to the conclusion that I was not to blame for the mischief that had been done. If I had been haughty and disobedient, it was because I had been treated badly. I certainly did not deserve flogging, and it would have been impossible for me to submit to it. If I had been guilty, I could have borne even that.
My uncle had counselled Mr. Parasyte to reduce me to subjection; and much I marvelled that he had found words to say so much. It was an evidence of interest in me which he had never before manifested. It was plain that, in the settlement of the difficulty, I must count upon the opposition of my uncle, who had already espoused the principal's side of the quarrel. But I did not make any rash resolves, preferring to act as my sense of right and justice should dictate when the time for action came.
As I approached the cottage by the lake, I saw a light in my uncle's library. My guardian sat up late at night, and rose early in the morning. He did not sleep well, and he always looked pale and haggard. He was a misanthrope in the worst sense of the word. He seemed to have no friends, and to care for no one in the world—not even for himself. Certainly he had no regard for me.
Of his past history I knew nothing; but I had already concluded that he had been subjected to some terrible disappointment or injustice. He appeared to suffer all the time; and if he would have permitted it, how gladly would I have assuaged his woe by my sympathy! He was cold and forbidding, and would not permit me to speak a word to him. I had once tried to make him tell me something about my father and mother; but, with an expression of angry impatience upon his face, he had turned and fled in disgust from me.
I longed to know who and what my mother was; but my questions brought no answer. One day, when my uncle was away, I had crept into his library, and tried vainly to obtain some information from his books and papers. He caught me in the room, and drove me out with a curse upon his lips. After that a spring lock was put upon the door, the key of which he carried in his pocket.
On the present occasion I had nothing to expect from my uncle; but I wished to see him, and tell him my story. I knew that he could talk; for, during the preceding year, a man of thirty, elegantly dressed, came to the cottage one afternoon, and walked with my uncle into the grove by the lake. They had business together, and it was not of a pleasant nature; for, prompted by curiosity, I rowed my skiff up to the shore, to learn what I might of the stranger's purpose. I could not understand a word that was said; but my uncle talked rapidly and fiercely, and a violent altercation ensued, which I feared would end in blows. The stranger did not come back to the cottage, and the supper which Betsey had prepared for the guest was not needed.
Learning from this that my uncle had a tongue, I asked him who the stranger was. The answer was only a savage frown. He had no tongue for me. Neither old Jerry nor his wife was any better informed than I was, for both assured me they did not know the stranger. Satisfied, therefore, that my uncle could talk, I was determined to see him before I went to bed, though it was nearly midnight. Perhaps, also, I was disposed to adopt this course, because my guardian had given such bad advice to Mr. Parasyte. I was not insensible to the indulgence with which I had ever been treated; and seeing that my silent uncle wished to avoid me, I had generally favored him in doing so. It was different now. He had given an order or a permission to have me brutally punished, and I was determined to make him "face the music."
I entered the house, and passing through my uncle's chamber, stood at the door of the library, which was fastened by the spring lock.