My aunt’s health was so much improved that I could not reasonably expect to have her money for some time. In a week, a month, a year—but be it sooner or later, it was sure to come—my deficit would be exposed. It might be discovered while I was at home, or at least before I had any suspicion that I was in peril. I should have no time to provide for my own safety. I was liable to be arrested in my own house, without any warning, and then nothing could save me from a term in the State Prison.
The cold sweat dropped from my brow as I thought of this fearful contingency. I should not have a moment for preparation; an opportunity to take the first train departing from the city; or even to hide myself in the dark places of the city. Cold irons on my wrists, a gloomy dungeon for, my resting-place, with the loathing and contempt of my fellow-men, were all that would be left to me then. Lilian, whom I loved with all my soul, would be reduced to despair. My savage mother-in-law would not cease to reproach her, as long as my wife was a burden in the maternal home.
I could not face the emergency. I was determined to place myself beyond the possibility of such an awful crash. I was resolved that Lilian, whatever she might think of me, should never be compelled to look in upon her husband through the bars of a prison cell. Before the discovery of the deficit, I could make such arrangements as I pleased. Afterwards, I could do nothing. It seemed to me then that I had not a day or an hour to spare. I had decided to save myself from the consequences of one tremendous error, by plunging into another. Of course I could not flee from Boston with only a thousand dollars in my pocket. I am surprised now when I consider how easy it was for me to think of taking from the bank no less a sum than thirty thousand dollars. I did not now flatter myself that I intended only to borrow the money, though it did occur to me that Aunt Rachel’s fortune would in part pay my debt. Before I left the bank that day, I put in my pocket ten thousand dollars, so that if my errors were immediately discovered, I should not be wholly unprovided for.
I went to a broker where I was not known, and bought a thousand pounds in gold, which I carried home in a small valise I purchased for future use. I concealed the gold in my chamber ready for the final move when I should be required to make it. I was intensely excited by the resolution I had taken, and my thoughts seemed to move with tremendous rapidity. I had decided upon the precise plan I intended to follow; but of course it was necessary for me to move with the utmost circumspection.
I had only a day to spare, for we must leave Boston the next evening. I must prepare Lilian for a great change in her future. I must lay my plans so as not to excite a breath of suspicion in any one, especially at the bank. I had hardly twenty-four hours left to complete my arrangements. I composed myself as well as I could, and went down to dinner. Lilian was as cheerful as she always was when I came into the house, and it almost started the tears in my eyes when I thought what she would be if the world knew the whole truth in regard to my affairs.
“Lilian, I have been unfortunate to-day,” I began, as a suitable introduction to the plan I had to propose.
“Unfortunate! Dear me! What has happened?” she asked, dropping her pretty chin and her knife and fork at the same time.
“I have lost a good deal of money.”
“Lost a good deal of money?”