The Code of Manu some three centuries before Christ set the status of woman thus, "During her childhood a woman depends on her father; during her youth, on her husband; her husband being dead, on her sons; if she has no sons, on the near relatives of her husband; or if in default of them, on those of her father; if she has no paternal relatives, on the sovereign. A woman ought never to have her own way." So it is no wonder that the wife was treated by the husband in the harshest manner and she to respond with the greatest humility. The following from a witness of a hundred or more years ago, portrays some of the relations which women bore to the opposite sex:
"The women, on the other hand, are so thoroughly accustomed to harsh and domineering treatment from their husbands that they would be quite annoyed if the husbands adopted a more familiar tone. I once knew a native lady who complained bitterly that her husband sometimes affected to be devoted to her in public and allowed himself such little familiarities as are looked upon by us as marks of affection. 'Such behavior,' said she, 'covers me with shame and confusion. I dare not show myself anywhere. Did anyone ever see such bad manners amongst people of our caste? Has he become a Feringhi (European), and does he take me for one of their vile women?'
"As a rule a husband addresses his wife in terms which show how little he thinks of her. Servant, slave, etc., and other equal flattering appellations, fall quite naturally from his lips.
"A woman, on the other hand, never addresses her husband except in terms of the greatest humility. She speaks to him as my master, my lord, and even sometimes my god. In her awe of him she does not venture to call him by his name; and should she forget herself in this way in a moment of anger, she would be thought a very low class of person, and would lay herself open to personal chastisement from her offended spouse. She must be just as particular in speaking of him to anyone else; indeed, the Hindus are very careful never to put a woman under the necessity of mentioning her husband by name. If by chance a European, who is unacquainted with this point of etiquette, obliges her to do so, he will see her blush and hide her face behind her sari and turn away without answering, smiling at the same time with contemptuous pity at such ignorance.
"But if women enjoy very little consideration in private life, they are in some degree compensated by the respect which is paid to them in public. They do not, it is true, receive those insipid compliments which we have agreed to consider polite; but then, on the other hand, they are safe from the risk of insult. A Hindu woman can go anywhere alone, even in the most crowded places, and she need never fear the impertinent looks and jokes of idle loungers. This appears to me to be really remarkable in a country where the moral depravity of the inhabitants is carried to such lengths. A house inhabited solely by women is a sanctuary which the most shameless libertine would not dream of violating. To touch a respectable woman even with the end of your finger would be considered highly indecorous, and a man who meets a female acquaintance in the street does not venture to stop and speak to her."[51]
Courtesans in India, as in Greece, if of great beauty and accomplishments, were accorded many more privileges than the other women. As these were used in the temples, they were permitted to learn to read and to sing and to dance, accomplishments which a respectable woman would have been ashamed to have acknowledged even if she should have learned them.
In the early times, during the Vedic period, it would seem that the girls had some choice in the selection of the husband, and yet the father must have exercised some control over the affair. But later the selection of both bride and groom was fast fixed in the hands of the parents, who arranged everything. With the young man's family the purity of the caste of the future wife was the greatest concern, beauty and personal attraction counting nothing, while the girl's parents thought more of the fortune of the bridegroom to be and of the character of his mother, because she was to become the absolute mistress of the young wife. Intermarriage between castes was not strictly forbidden, but a woman could not marry a man of lower caste without losing caste.
"To a Hindu marriage is the most important and most engrossing event of his life; it is a subject of endless conversation and of the most prolonged preparations. An unmarried man is looked upon as having no social status and as being an almost useless member of society. He is not consulted on any important subject, and no work of any consequence may be given to him. A Hindu who becomes a widower finds himself in almost the same position as a bachelor, and speedily remarries.
"Though marriage is considered the natural state for the generality of men, those who from pious motives remain unmarried are looked up to and treated with the utmost respect. But it is only those persons who have renounced the world, and have chosen to lead a life of contemplation, who can take vows of celibacy. In any other case marriage is the rule, and every one is under obligation of discharging the great debt to his ancestors, namely, that of begetting a son.
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