Lord Illingworth. I suppose your mother is very religious, and that sort of thing.
Gerald. Oh, yes, she’s always going to church.
Lord Illingworth. Ah! she is not modern, and to be modern is the only thing worth being nowadays. You want to be modern, don’t you, Gerald? You want to know life as it really is. Not to be put off with any old-fashioned theories about life. Well, what you have to do at present is simply to fit yourself for the best society. A man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. The future belongs to the dandy. It is the exquisites who are going to rule.
Gerald. I should like to wear nice things awfully, but I have always been told that a man should not think too much about his clothes.
Lord Illingworth. People nowadays are so absolutely superficial that they don’t understand the philosophy of the superficial. By the way, Gerald, you should learn how to tie your tie better. Sentiment is all very well for the button-hole. But the essential thing for a necktie is style. A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life.
Gerald. [Laughing.] I might be able to learn how to tie a tie, Lord Illingworth, but I should never be able to talk as you do. I don’t know how to talk.
Lord Illingworth. Oh! talk to every woman as if you loved her, and to every man as if he bored you, and at the end of your first season you will have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact.
Gerald. But it is very difficult to get into society isn’t it?
Lord Illingworth. To get into the best society, nowadays, one has either to feed people, amuse people, or shock people—that is all!
Gerald. I suppose society is wonderfully delightful!