JACK.
I have no doubt about that, dear Algy. The Divorce Court was specially invented for people whose memories are so curiously constituted.
ALGERNON.
Oh! there is no use speculating on that subject. Divorces are made in Heaven—[Jack puts out his hand to take a sandwich. Algernon at once interferes.] Please don’t touch the cucumber sandwiches. They are ordered specially for Aunt Augusta. [Takes one and eats it.]
JACK.
Well, you have been eating them all the time.
ALGERNON.
That is quite a different matter. She is my aunt. [Takes plate from below.] Have some bread and butter. The bread and butter is for Gwendolen. Gwendolen is devoted to bread and butter.
JACK.
[Advancing to table and helping himself.] And very good bread and butter it is too.
ALGERNON.
Well, my dear fellow, you need not eat as if you were going to eat it all. You behave as if you were married to her already. You are not married to her already, and I don’t think you ever will be.
JACK.
Why on earth do you say that?
ALGERNON.
Well, in the first place girls never marry the men they flirt with. Girls don’t think it right.
JACK.
Oh, that is nonsense!
ALGERNON.
It isn’t. It is a great truth. It accounts for the extraordinary number of bachelors that one sees all over the place. In the second place, I don’t give my consent.