LADY BRACKNELL.
The christenings, sir! Is not that somewhat premature?
CHASUBLE.
[Looking rather puzzled, and pointing to Jack and Algernon.] Both these gentlemen have expressed a desire for immediate baptism.
LADY BRACKNELL.
At their age? The idea is grotesque and irreligious! Algernon, I forbid you to be baptized. I will not hear of such excesses. Lord Bracknell would be highly displeased if he learned that that was the way in which you wasted your time and money.
CHASUBLE.
Am I to understand then that there are to be no christenings at all this afternoon?
JACK.
I don’t think that, as things are now, it would be of much practical value to either of us, Dr. Chasuble.
CHASUBLE.
I am grieved to hear such sentiments from you, Mr. Worthing. They savour of the heretical views of the Anabaptists, views that I have completely refuted in four of my unpublished sermons. However, as your present mood seems to be one peculiarly secular, I will return to the church at once. Indeed, I have just been informed by the pew-opener that for the last hour and a half Miss Prism has been waiting for me in the vestry.
LADY BRACKNELL.
[Starting.] Miss Prism! Did I hear you mention a Miss Prism?
CHASUBLE.
Yes, Lady Bracknell. I am on my way to join her.
LADY BRACKNELL.
Pray allow me to detain you for a moment. This matter may prove to be one of vital importance to Lord Bracknell and myself. Is this Miss Prism a female of repellent aspect, remotely connected with education?
CHASUBLE.
[Somewhat indignantly.] She is the most cultivated of ladies, and the very picture of respectability.