"Really--certainly! It is only the first time," murmurs Nikolai, with the same stiff smile. Then suddenly, with a gasping sob, which shakes his whole frame, he buries his face in his crossed arms on the table.
"Colia! Nikolinka! Poor boy, poor fellow!" murmurs Lensky, stroking his head very gently. "So it cuts so deep. See, I do not understand it. At first I was only vexed, reviled her because she wounded my paternal pride. But if you really love her so, we will consider the affair more closely. You poor fellow, you are quite beside yourself, and all on account of a woman! I never suffered so. I really cannot feel for you. Truly, if your mother had not wished me at that time in Rome! But she was the only one; except her, they were all alike to me. I always said one woman was only like the others. You shake your head, you are right; it is nonsense; but one always speaks so when one is vexed. Heavens! if any one permitted himself to tell me that my Mascha is no better than--but that does not belong here; we wish to speak of your affairs. I cannot believe that a girl could refuse you unless there was some one else whom she loved."
"It still seems to be the case," said Nikolai, who now, having mastered his unmanly weakness, calmly listened to his father.
"There must be some misunderstanding," says Lensky, thoughtfully. "Especially as, if your letters told the truth, she did not seem to repel you, but rather encouraged you to repeat your visits to the studio. Tell me--there were always three of you, Sonia was there--what kind of a rôle did the little prude play between you?"
"What rôle?" Nikolai blushed. "None at all. We were always very pleasant to each other; we love each other quite like brother and sister."
"So! And the other one loves her?"
"She cares for her as the tenderest mother."
"H-m! And she refused you to-day?"
"Yes; how often do you wish to hear it from me? My God, if she had said a kind word to me, but she fairly drove me away!" Nikolai's eyes sparkle quite angrily; then he adds, slowly, heavily, but speaking plainly: "I let myself be so carried away as to kiss her hand, and she shook me off as if she had a horror of me."
"So; did she? The simpleton! Do you really believe that a girl would so rudely refuse a boy like you if she were quite sure of her heart? Torment yourself no more, Colia."