If the show was very thrilling,

If the lovely ladies sang him

Haunting songs of joy and sadness,

He’d have told you in a minute

That he hadn’t time to notice.

He was always much too busy

Shouting “Un, deux, trois” with Frenchmen,

Drinking lager beer with Serbians,

Swapping caps with ice-cream merchants,

Helping several rowdy Russkis