Wind! a word with thee! thou goest where my Well-Preservéd lies On her bed of bonny briers keeping off the wicked flies. Thou shalt know her by th’ aroma of her bosom, which is musk, And her ivories that glisten like an elephantine tusk. 9 Seek her coral-guarded tympanum and whisper “Poppinjai!” And (referring to her lover) kindly add “A-lal-lal-lai!” Breeze! thou knowest my condition; state it broadly, if you please, In a smattering of Indo-Turco-Perso-Japanese. Say my youth is flitting freely, and before the season goes From the garden of my Tûtsi I am fain to pluck a rose. Tell her I’m a wanton Sufí (what a Sufí really is She may know, perhaps––I count it one of Allah’s mysteries). Fly, O blessed Breeze, and hither bring me back the net result; Fly as flies the rude mosquito from Abdullah’s catapult. 10 Fly as flies the rusty rickshaw of the Kurumayasan, When he scents a Hippopotam down the groves of Gulistan. Fly and cull, O cull, a section of my Pipkin’s purple tress; Thou shalt find me drinking deeply with the Lords that rule the Mess; Quaffing mead and mighty sodas with the Johnís, Lords of War, Talking ‘jungle in the gun-room,’ underneath the deodar. Hoo Tawâ! I go to join them; he that cometh late is curst, For the Lords of War (by Akbar) have a most amazing thirst!

11

3.
MARSYAS IN HADES.

(AFTER SIR L. M.)

Next I saw A pensive gentleman of middle age, That leaned against a Druid oak, his pipe Pendent beneath his chin––a double one–– (Meaning the pipe); reluctant was his breath, For he had mingled in the Morris dance And rested blown; but damsels in their teens, All decorous and decorously clad, Their very ankles hardly visible, Recalled his motions; while, for chaperon, Good Mrs. Grundy up against the wall Beamed approbation. On his face I read Signs of high sadness such as poets wear, Being divinely discontented with The praise of jeunes filles. Even as I looked, He touched the portion of his pipe reserved 12 For minor poetry of solemn tone, Checking the humorous stops intended for Electioneering posters and the like; And therewithal he made the following Addition to his Songs Unsung, or else His Unremarked Remarks: “Dear Sir,” he said, “Excuse my saying ‘Sir’ like that; it is Our way in Hades here among the damned; For you must know that some of us are damned Not only by faint praise but full applause Of simple critics. Take my case. In me Behold the good knight Marsyas, M.A., Three times a candidate for Parliament, And twice retired; a Justice of the Peace; Master of Arts (I said), and better known In literary spheres as Master of The Mediocre-Obvious; and read By boarding-misses in their myriads. These dote upon me. Sweetly have I sung The commonplaces of philosophy In common parlance. 13 You have read perhaps The Cymric Triads? Poetry, they say, Excels alone by sheer simplicity Of language, subject, and invention. Sir! The excellence of mine lay that way too. But fate is partial. Heaven’s fulgour moulds ‘To happiness some, some to unhappiness!’ (Look you, the harp was Welsh that figured forth That excellent last line.) I ask you, Sir, What would you? Ill content with mortal praise, And haply somewhat overbold, I sought To be as gods be; sought, in fact, to filch Apollo’s bays! Ah me! Dear me! I fain Would use a stronger phrase, but hardly dare, Being, whatever else, respectable. I say I tired of vulgar homage, gift Of ignorance. ‘High failure overleaps The bounds of low successes’ (there, again, The harp that twanged was Welsh, but with an echo Of Browning). Godlike it must be, I thought, 14 To climb the giddy brink; to pen, for instance, An Ode to the Imperial Institute, And fall, if bound to, from a decent height. I did and missed the laurel; still I go On writing; what you hear just now is blank, Distinctly blank, and might be measured by The kilomètre; yet I rhyme as well A little; but it takes a lot of time, And checks the lapse of my pellucid stream Not all conveniently.” Thereat he paused, And wrung the moisture from his pipe; but I, As one that was intolerably bored, Took even this occasion to be gone; And, going, marked him how he took his stile, Polished the waxen tablets, and began To make a Royal Pæan by request, Or so he said.

15

4.
THE RHYME OF THE KIPPERLING.

(AFTER R. K.)

[N.B.––No nautical terms or statements guaranteed.]

Away by the haunts of the Yang-tse-boo, Where the Yuletide runs cold gin, And the rollicking sign of the Lord Knows Who Sees mariners drink like sin; Where the Jolly Roger tips his quart To the luck of the Union Jack; And some are screwed on the foreign port, And some on the starboard tack;–– Ever they tell the tale anew Of the chase for the kipperling swag; How the smack Tommy This and the smack Tommy That They broached each other like a whiskey-vat, And the Fuzzy-Wuz took the bag. 16 Now this is the law of the herring fleet that harries the northern main, Tattooed in scars on the chests of the tars with a brand like the brand of Cain: That none may woo the sea-born shrew save such as pay their way With a kipperling netted at noon of night and cured ere the crack of day. It was the woman Sal o’ the Dune, and the men were three to one, Bill the Skipper and Ned the Nipper and Sam that was Son of a Gun; Bill was a Skipper and Ned was a Nipper and Sam was the Son of a Gun, And the woman was Sal o’ the Dune, as I said, and the men were three to one. There was never a light in the sky that night of the soft midsummer gales, But the great man-bloaters snorted low, and the young ’uns sang like whales; 17 And out laughed Sal (like a dog-toothed wheel was the laugh that Sal laughed she): “Now who’s for a bride on the shady side of up’ards of forty-three?” And Neddy he swore by butt and bend, and Billy by bend and bitt, And nautical names that no man frames but your amateur nautical wit; And Sam said, “Shiver my topping-lifts and scuttle my foc’s’le yarn, And may I be curst, if I’m not in first with a kipperling slued astarn!” Now the smack Tommy This and the smack Tommy That and the Fuzzy-Wuz smack, all three, Their captains bold, they were Bill and Ned and Sam respectivelee. And it’s writ in the rules that the primary schools of kippers should get off cheap For a two mile reach off Foulness beach when the July tide’s at neap; 18 And the lawless lubbers that lust for loot and filch the yearling stock They get smart raps from the coastguard chaps with their blunderbuss fixed half-cock. Now Bill the Skipper and Ned the Nipper could tell green cheese from blue, And Bill knew a trick and Ned knew a trick, but Sam knew a trick worth two. So Bill he sneaks a corporal’s breeks and a belt of pipeclayed hide, And splices them on to the jibsail-boom like a troopship on the tide. And likewise Ned to his masthead he runs a rag of the Queen’s, With a rusty sword and a moke on board to bray like the Horse Marines. But Sam sniffs gore and he keeps off-shore and he waits for things to stir, Then he tracks for the deep with a long fog-horn rigged up like a bowchasér. 19 Now scarce had Ned dropped line and lead when he spots the pipeclayed hide, And the corporal’s breeks on the jibsail-boom like a troopship on the tide; And Bill likewise, when he ups and spies the slip of a rag of the Queen’s, And the rusty sword, and he sniffs aboard the moke of the Horse Marines. So they each luffed sail, and they each turned tail, and they whipped their wheels like mad, When the one he said “By the Lord, it’s Ned!” and the other, “It’s Bill, by Gad!” Then about and about, and nozzle to snout, they rammed through breach and brace, And the splinters flew as they mostly do when a Government test takes place. Then up stole Sam with his little ram and the nautical talk flowed free, And in good bold type might have covered the two front sheets of the P. M. G. 20 But the fog-horn bluff was safe enough, where all was weed and weft, And the conger-eels were a-making meals, and the pick of the tackle left Was a binnacle-lid and a leak in the bilge and the chip of a cracked sheerstrake And the corporal’s belt and the moke’s cool pelt and a portrait of Francis Drake. So Sam he hauls the dead men’s trawls and he booms for the harbour-bar, And the splitten fry are salted dry by the blink of the morning star. And Sal o’ the Dune was wed next moon by the man that paid his way With a kipperling netted at noon of night and cured ere the crack of day; For such is the law of the herring fleet that bloats on the northern main, Tattooed in scars on the chests of the tars with a brand like the brand of Cain. 21 And still in the haunts of the Yang-tse-boo Ever they tell the tale anew Of the chase for the kipperling swag; How the smack Tommy This and the smack Tommy That They broached each other like a whiskey-vat, And the Fuzzy-Wuz took the bag.