“What do you mean, pampering?” asked Steve.
“Well, Lord love a duck!” replied the butler, who in his moments of relaxation was addicted to homely expletives of the lower London type. “If you don’t call it pampering, what do you call pampering? He ain’t allowed to touch nothing that ain’t been—it’s slipped my memory what they call it, but it’s got something to do with microbes. They sprinkle stuff on his toys and on his clothes and on his nurse; what’s more, and on any one who comes to see him. And his nursery ain’t what I call a nursery at all. It’s nothing more or less than a private ’ospital, with its white tiles and its antiseptics and what not, and the temperature just so and no lower nor higher. I don’t call it ’aving a proper faith in Providence, pampering and fussing over a child to that extent.”
“You’re stringing me!”
“Not a bit of it, Mr. Dingle. I’ve seen the nursery with my own eyes, and I ’ave my information direct from the young person who looks after the child.”
“But, say, in the old days that kid was about the dandiest little sport that ever came down the pike. You seen him that day I brought him round to say hello to the old man. He didn’t have no nursery at all then, let alone one with white tiles. I’ve seen him come up off the studio floor looking like a coon with the dust. And Miss Ruth tickled to see him like that, too. For the love of Mike, what’s come to her?”
“It’s all along of this Porter,” said Keggs morosely. “She’s done it all. And if,” he went on with sudden heat, “she don’t break her ’abit of addressing me in a tone what the ’umblest dorg would resent, I’m liable to forget my place and give her a piece of my mind. Coming round and interfering!”
“Got your goat, has she?” commented Steve, interested. “She’s what you’d call a tough proposition, that dame. I used to have my eye on her all the time in the old days, waiting for her to start something. But say, I’d like to see this nursery you’ve been talking about. Take me up and let me lamp it.”
Keggs shook his head.
“I daren’t, Mr. Dingle. It ’ud be as much as my place is worth.”
“But, darn it! I’m the kid’s godfather.”