Three Men and a Maid

by P. G. Wodehouse

"They're wasting their time, trying," said Sam.

"You're the most wonderful man in the world."

"There never was a girl like you!"

"Get out!" bellowed Mr. Bennett, on whose equanimity this love-scene, which I think beautiful, was jarring profoundly.

"Now, sir!" he said to Sam, as the door closed.

"Yes, let's talk it over calmly," said Sam.

"I will not talk it over calmly!"

"Oh, come! You can do it if you try."

"Bream Mortimer is the son of Henry Mortimer."

"I know," said Sam. "And, while it is no doubt unfair to hold that against him, it's a point you can't afford to ignore. Henry Mortimer! You and I have Henry Mortimer's number. We know what Henry Mortimer is like! A man who spends his time thinking up ways of annoying you. You can't seriously want to have the Mortimer family linked to you by marriage."