“Mr. Barnum,” she replied, “you forget that I am a showman’s wife, conversant with all the showman’s tricks, and that I cannot be deceived.”
Seeing there was no prospect of convincing her, I replied in a confidential whisper, for such chance for a joke was not to be lost:
“Well, I see you are too sharp for me, but I beg you not to mention it, for you are the only person on board this train who suspects it is the Commodore.”
“I will say nothing,” she replied, “but do please bring the little fellow over here, for my daughters have never seen him.”
I stepped and told Lavinia the joke and asked her to help carry it out. I then took her over where she got a seat in the midst of the three ladies.
“Ah, Commodore,” whispered Mrs. B., “you have done it pretty well, but bless you, I knew those eyes and that nose the moment I saw you.”
“Your eyes must be pretty sharp, then,” replied Lavinia.
“Oh, you see people in our line understand these things, and are never deceived by appearances; but let me introduce you to these two young ladies, my daughters.”
“We are happy to see you, sir,” said one of the young ladies. They then enjoyed a very animated conversation, in the course of which they asked the “Commodore” all about his family, and Lavinia managed to answer the questions in such a way as to avoid suspicion. The ladies then informed the “Commodore” that there was a sweet little lady living in their town only sixteen years old, and if he would visit them, they would introduce him; that her family was highly respectable, and she would make him a capital wife! Lavinia thanked them and promised to visit them if it should be convenient. As the ladies left the car, they shook hands with Lavinia, kissed her, and in a whisper said “good morning, sir.” Meeting the husband of the lady, some weeks afterwards, I told him the joke, and he enjoyed it so highly that he will probably never let his wife and daughters hear the last of it.
I purchased a very splendid wardrobe for Miss Warren, including scores of the richest dresses that could be procured, costly jewels, and in fact everything that could add to the charms of her naturally charming little person. She was then placed on exhibition at the Museum and from the day of her débût she was an extraordinary success. Commodore Nutt was on exhibition with her, and although he was several years her junior he evidently took a great fancy to her. One day I presented to Lavinia a diamond and emerald ring, and as it did not exactly fit her finger, I told her I would give her another one and that she might present this one to the Commodore in her own name. She did so, and an unlooked-for effect was speedily apparent; the little Commodore felt sure that this was a love-token, and poor Lavinia was in the greatest trouble, for she considered herself quite a woman, and regarded the Commodore only as a nice little boy. But she did not like to offend him, and while she did not encourage, she did not openly repel his attentions. Miss Lavinia Warren, however, was never destined to be Mrs. Commodore Nutt.