“Remember,” said Darrow, “I b-b-bet you hain’t got a whole shirt on your b-b-back!”
“All right,” said I, taking off my coat and commencing to unbutton my vest. The whole company, feeling sure that I was caught, began to laugh heartily. Old Darrow fairly danced with delight, and as I laid my coat on a chair he came running up in front of me, and slapping his hands together, exclaimed:
“You needn’t t-t-take off any more c-c-c-clothes, for if it ain’t all on your b-b-back, you’ve lost it.”
“If it is, I suppose you have!” I replied, pulling the whole shirt from off my back!
Such a shriek of laughter as burst forth from the crowd I scarcely ever heard, and certainly such a blank countenance as old Darrow exhibited it would be hard to conceive. Seeing that he was most incontinently “done for,” and perceiving that his neighbor Hough had helped to do it, he ran up to him in great anger, and shaking his fist in his face, exclaimed:
“H-H-Hough, you infernal r-r-rascal, to go against your own n-n-neighbor in favor of a D-D-Danbury man. I’ll pay you for that some time, you see if I d-d-don’t.”
All hands went up to the bar and drank with a hearty good will, for it was seldom that Darrow got taken in, and he was such an inveterate joker they liked to see him paid in his own coin. Never till the day of his death did he hear the last of the “whole shirt.”
CHAPTER V.
MY START AS A SHOWMAN.
THE AMUSEMENT BUSINESS—DIFFERENT GRADES—CATERING FOR THE PUBLIC—MY CLAIMS, AIMS AND EFFORTS—JOICE HETH—APPARENT GENUINENESS OF HER VOUCHERS—BEGINNING LIFE AS A SHOWMAN—SUCCESS OF MY FIRST EXHIBITION—SECOND STEP IN THE SHOW LINE—SIGNOR VIVALLA—MY FIRST APPEARANCE ON ANY STAGE—AT WASHINGTON—ANNE ROYALL—STIMULATING THE PUBLIC—CONTESTS BETWEEN VIVALLA AND ROBERTS—EXCITEMENT AT FEVER HEAT—CONNECTING MYSELF WITH A CIRCUS—BREAD AND BUTTER DINNER FOR THE WHOLE COMPANY—NARROW ESCAPE FROM SUFFOCATION—LECTURING AN ABUSIVE CLERGYMAN—AARON TURNER—A TERRIBLE PRACTICAL JOKE—I AM REPRESENTED TO BE A MURDERER—RAILS AND LYNCH LAW—NOVEL MEANS FOR SECURING NOTORIETY.
BY this time it was clear to my mind that my proper position in this busy world was not yet reached. I had displayed the faculty of getting money, as well as getting rid of it; but the business for which I was destined, and, I believe, made, had not yet come to me; or rather, I had not found that I was to cater for that insatiate want of human nature—the love of amusement; that I was to make a sensation on two continents; and that fame and fortune awaited me so soon as I should appear before the public in the character of a showman. These things I had not foreseen. I did not seek the position or the character. The business finally came in my way; I fell into the occupation, and far beyond any of my predecessors on this continent, I have succeeded.