March 9th.

To weary you with a further continuation of the experiences of a forlorn Yeoman, who, having drifted from Pretoria, now finds himself on the sands of Maitland, with a distant and tantalising view of the sea and its ships, seems an unworthy thing to do. But, alas! I have acquired a terrible habit of letter-writing. News or no news, given the opportunity, I religiously once a week contribute to the English mail bag; so here goes for a really short letter.

On Thursday, having endured as much toothache as I deemed expedient without complaint, and goaded on by a sleepless night, I paraded before the doctor, and having borne with him moderately and half satisfied his credulity, obtained from him a note to a Cape Town dentist for the following day. I am now in that being's hands, he has considerately assured me that no man is a hero to his own dentist.

In Cape Town there are two topics—the town guard and the plague, known as bubonic; owing to the latter, great is the stink of disinfectants.

I have already made allusions to the "Sisters' Albums" and the contributions which they levied. Here at McKenzie's Farm, I have struck another style of book. This is run by Sergeant-Major Fownes (10th Hussars) who is in charge of all of the Yeomanry at the base. It is a "Confession Book," containing reasons "Why I joined the Imperial Yeomanry" and "Why I left." It has been contributed to by members of nearly every I.Y. squadron in South Africa. Thanks to the courtesy of its owner, I am able to give you a selection from its contents, omitting the names and squadrons of the contributors only.[Back to Contents]

WHY I JOINED THE YEOMANRY. WHY I LEFT.
1.To escape my creditors.1.The old man stumped up and I am in no danger ofreceiving a blue paper.
2.Patriotism.2.Captured at Lindley. Too much mealie porridge and rice.
3.Because I was sick of England.3.Because I have changed my mind.
4.Could always ride, could always shoot,
Thought of duty, thought of loot.		4.Gammy leg, couldn't ride,
Sent to Cape Town, had to slide.
5."England Expects ——" (you know the rest).5."Go not too often into thy neighbour's house, lest he be weary of thee!"
Hospitals.
1. Imperial Yeomanry Field. 2. Johannesburg Civil. 3. No. 6 General. 4. No. 9 General. 5. No. 8 General. 6. Deelfontein. 7. Maitland.
6.To injure the Boers.6.Because they injured me.
7.(All Excuses used up.)7.Love of my native land (England).
8.I considered it was the right thing for an Englishman to do.8.I did not get enough fighting, but too much messing about.
9.Because I thought it was my duty.9."Fed Up!!!"
10.A broken heart.10.A broken leg (more serious and imperative).
11.Anxiety to get to South Africa.11.Anxiety to get away from it.
12.For the sake of a little excitement, which I can't get at home and didn't get out here.12.Joined B.P.'s Police Force to still search for the impossible.
13.Patriotic Fever!!!13.Enteric Fever!!!
14.I did it during the Patriotic Mania, 1899-1900. Under like circumstances believe I'd do it again.14.Ill health.
15.Sudden splash of Patriotism upon visiting a Music Hall.15.Bathing one day, found varicose veins much to my delight. Invalided.
16.Poetry.16.Prose.
17."Married in haste."17."Repented at leisure."
18.Because I did not bring my aged and respected father up properly.18.To see if he has improved.
19.To kill Time and Boers.19.Because Time and Boers wait for no man.
20.Because I am Irish and wanted to fight.20.Because I want to do more fighting and am joining the S.A.C.
21.Love of War.21.Love of Peace.
22.For Sport.22.Time for close season.
23.My Country's call my ardour fired.23.The "Crisis" o'er, I've now retired.
24.Because I was tired of the Old Country. 24.Because I was sick of the New.
25.Old England's Honour, Glory, Fame,
Such thoughts were in my mind.
To die the last but not disgraced,
A V.C. perhaps to find.
To sound the charge, to meet the foe,
To win or wounded lie,
My firstborn son and I should fight
And, if the needs be, die.		25.Alas, no Glory have I earned,
No Trumpet's Requiem found,
Altho' I've laid upon the veldt,
With scanty comfort round.
My son has seen more fights than I,
Tho' he is scarce fifteen,
Whilst I must sound my trumpet at
The Yeoman's Base-fontein.
Sergt.-Trumpeter (McKenzie's Farm).
26.Hungry for a fight.26.Appetite appeased.
27.Drink and Drink.27.Drink and Drink.
28.Vanity.28.Vexation of Spirit.
29.Because I thought:
  • 'Twas a glorious life on the veldt, So unrestrained and free. (Note. Read opposite page.)
  • 'Twas grand to lie 'neath the star-lit sky In a blanket warm and nice.
  • 'Twas exciting to gallop over the plains To the music of the Mausers.
  • Bully beef and biscuits are all very well, And so, for a time, is jam.
29.But I found:
  • That after twelve months of the same I felt It was not the life for me.
  • That when you wanted to go to sleep, You're scratching and hunting for l—ce.
  • That 'twas very unpleasant to ride all day When you'd lost the seat of your trousers.
  • That to get nothing else for more than six months, Would make any fellow say "D——!"
30.To have a lively time.30.What with Mausers by day and crawlers by night. I had it.
31.Wanted to see a little of South Africa.31.Have seen enough.
32.Came out on Chance.32.Going home to a Certainty.
33.To escape the Police at home.33.Same reason here.
34.Had always preached Patriotism and thought it was the time to put theory into practice.34.The Patriotic Fever has run its natural course.
35.Because I had nothing to do at home
Bar drinking whiskies and sodas alone,
And shooting pheasants which is beastly slow,
So I thought I'd give the Bo-ahs a show.		35.Because the Bo-ahs shot me instead,
And the papers (confound them) reported me "dead,"
That sort of game is rather too bad,
So the prodigal now returns to his dad.
36.Thought I would get the V.C.36.Got C.B. instead!
37.A soldier's son and a volunteer
Heaps of glory, bags of beer.		37.Bags of biscuits hard as rocks,
Smashed my teeth and gave me sox!
38.To become acquainted with Colonials before settling.38.To join the Bodyguard for same reason and—better pay.
39.For adventure.39.To go back to a hum-drum life, which is better than a Dum-Dum death.
40.Northumbria's reply, "Duty."40.Novelty somewhat worn off, and military discipline not being at all adapted to my temperament.

In a few days all the men marked for home will be leaving, and to those they will be leaving behind them the yearning to be on the sea once again, seems stronger than ever,