In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington, D. C.
PUBLISHERS’ PREFACE.
Not only is truth stranger than fiction, but it is funnier also. Just as some men have no eye for colors, but are color blind; so some men have no eye for fun, but are fun blind. Happy is the man who can see the humor which bubbles up in daily life; doubly happy he who, having seen, can tell the fun to others and so spread the glad contagion of a laugh; but thrice happy is the man who, having seen, can tell the fun; and having told, can picture it for others’ eyes and so roll on the rollicking humor, for the brightening of a world already far too sad.
Palmer Cox is one who sees, and tells, and pictures all the fun within his reach, as this volume of Frontier Humor will certainly attest.
TABLE OF CONTENTS.
| PAGE | |
|---|---|
| Ah Tie—That Deadly Pie, | [17] |
| New Year’s Callers, | [21] |
| Scenes on the Sidewalk, | [26] |
| Sam Patterson’s Balloon, | [31] |
| My Canine, | [53] |
| Jim Dudley’s Flight, | [56] |
| Trials of the Farmer, | [67] |
| A Cunning Dodge | [69] |
| A Terrible Take in, | [73] |
| A Family Jar, | [78] |
| The Rod of Correction, | [85] |
| Gone from his Gaze, | [89] |
| St. Patrick’s Day, | [91] |
| The Contented Frog, | [97] |
| All Fools’ Day, | [103] |
| Finding a Horse-shoe, | [107] |
| An Evening with Scientists, | [117] |
| Our Table Girl, | [120] |
| An Old Woman in Peril, | [122] |
| For Better or for Worse, | [128] |
| Ode on a Bumble-bee, | [131] |
| Dudley and the Greased Pig, | [135] |
| Cora Lee, | [156] |
| A Brilliant Forensic Effort, | [162] |
| Visiting a School, | [169] |
| The Rejected Suitor, | [171] |
| A Night of Terror, | [175] |
| My Drive to the Cliff, | [178] |
| Second Sight, | [184] |
| The Thief, | [187] |
| A Startling Cat-astrophe, | [194] |
| A Trip to the Mountains, | [196] |
| An Impatient Undertaker, | [209] |
| Sermon on a Pin, | [218] |
| Dudley’s Fight with the Texan, | [221] |
| Roller Skating, | [242] |
| A Terrible Nose, | [243] |
| A Masked Battery, | [249] |
| The Prize I Didn’t Win, | [257] |
| The Countryman’s Tooth, | [260] |
| Mining Stocks, | [262] |
| Ode on a Flea, | [265] |
| Fighting it Out on that Line, | [268] |
| Dudley’s Fight with Dr. Tweezer, | [271] |
| My Neighbor Worsted, | [285] |
| The Breathing Spell, | [289] |
| A Visit to Benicia, | [290] |
| Too Much of Indian, | [297] |
| Going Up the Spout, | [299] |
| The Glorious Fourth, | [309] |
| Jim Dudley’s Sermon, | [313] |
| The Poisoned Pet, | [337] |
| Seeking for a Wife, | [340] |
| David Goyle, the Miller Man, | [349] |
| Heels Up and Heads Down, | [360] |
| The Bitter End, | [362] |
| A Trip to the Interior, | [367] |
| Hunting with a Vengeance, | [385] |
| The Art Gallery, | [391] |
| A Rolling Stone, | [396] |
| Riding in the Street Cars, | [399] |
| Simon Rand, | [408] |
| The Value of a Collar, | [420] |
| Quaint Epitaphs, | [425] |
| Mistaken Identity, | [430] |
| Flirting, and What Came of It, | [435] |
| The Champion Mean Man, | [436] |
| In a Thousand Years, | [452] |
| The Cobbler’s End, | [454] |
| The Last of his Race, | [460] |
| Jim Dudley’s Race, | [462] |
| Oleomargarine, | [481] |
| Dining Under Difficulties, | [483] |
| Answers to Correspondents, | [486] |
| Court-room Scenes, | [489] |
| The Mason’s Ride, | [493] |
| June, | [497] |
| The Anniversary, | [500] |
| A Country Town, | [503] |
| A Trip Across the Bay, | [507] |
| Christmas Eve, | [513] |
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.
| PAGE | |
|---|---|
| Pictorial Title, | [iii] |
| A Tight Place, | [19] |
| Starting Out, | [23] |
| A Little Mixed, | [24] |
| The Ex-veteran of Waterloo, | [27] |
| A Miner who will soon be Minus, | [28] |
| May and December, | [30] |
| Sam Patterson, | [32] |
| Premature Ascent, | [37] |
| Attempted Abduction of Sam’s Wife, | [39] |
| “Let Me Git Out,” | [41] |
| “Go in, Cripple,” | [49] |
| A Right Angled Try-ankle, | [51] |
| A Prey to Disease, | [54] |
| Bob Browser, | [57] |
| Old Hurley Welcomes Jim, | [61] |
| Old Hurley on the War Path, | [65] |
| A Happy Thought, | [68] |
| Advance of the Cripple Brigade, | [71] |
| “Pay in Advance, Sir,” | [75] |
| Emperor Nelson, of San Francisco, | [77] |
| Stranger Who Went Not In, | [79] |
| The Stranger Who Went In, | [83] |
| A Rear Attack, | [87] |
| Little Dog’s Leather Collar, | [90] |
| In the Morning, | [93] |
| In the Evening, | [94] |
| In Meditation, | [98] |
| Bob’s Attack, | [101] |
| Alas! Poor Frog, | [102] |
| April, | [103] |
| Sold, | [104] |
| The Horse-shoe Charm, | [109] |
| Repairs Needed, | [113] |
| The President of the Academy, | [119] |
| The Old Lady’s Ascent, | [124] |
| The Trying Moment, | [129] |
| Judge Perkins, | [140] |
| Bad for the Fruit Business, | [143] |
| Bow-legged Spinny, | [146] |
| Nip and Tuck, | [151] |
| More Light on the Subject, | [154] |
| The Chief, | [158] |
| Behind the Bars, | [161] |
| The Advocate, | [163] |
| Bill of Divorce, | [167] |
| Head of his Class, | [169] |
| Foot of her Class, | [170] |
| A Suitor Nonsuited, | [172] |
| A Rousing Event, | [176] |
| Slightly Embarrassing, | [181] |
| Badly Mixed, | [182] |
| The Economist Seeing Double, | [186] |
| Richard Roe, the Sardine Thief, | [189] |
| The Judge, | [191] |
| Neck to Neck, | [199] |
| Steam let On, | [203] |
| Blow me Up! | [207] |
| Business is Business, | [213] |
| Bill After his Glass Eye, | [223] |
| The Ministerial Looking Man, | [227] |
| Startling Disclosures, | [234] |
| Busting his Bugle, | [244] |
| The One-eyed Swede, | [250] |
| Needed Air, | [254] |
| The Best Shot, | [258] |
| The Ascent, | [263] |
| The Descent, | [264] |
| Going for the Doctor, | [274] |
| Hands Up and Heads Down, | [279] |
| Alas! Poor Doctor, | [281] |
| One of Heenan’s Mementoes, | [292] |
| A Scientific Opening, | [294] |
| An Object of Suspicion, | [300] |
| On a Raid, | [304] |
| The Glorious Fourth, | [309] |
| Arousing the Dog, | [311] |
| The Final Explosion, | [312] |
| Something New, | [314] |
| The Doctor’s Scourge, | [318] |
| Joe Grimsby, | [322] |
| Truth is Powerful, | [328] |
| Mr. Spudd, | [331] |
| The Old Interrogator, | [332] |
| Having a Quiet Time, | [339] |
| The Crone, | [341] |
| Attending to Business, | [345] |
| Partner Wanted, | [347] |
| The New Acquaintance, | [353] |
| A One-sided Operation, | [357] |
| Lively Work, | [364] |
| A Mosquito on the Scent, | [368] |
| To the Hilt in Blood, | [371] |
| The Orchestra, | [374] |
| Macbeth, | [378] |
| Othello, | [379] |
| A Startling Apparition, | [383] |
| Advance of the Expedition, | [386] |
| Boggs Retrieving his Game, | [390] |
| From a Painting by an Old Master, | [392] |
| Love’s Young Dream, | [394] |
| A Through Passenger, | [397] |
| The Signal Station, | [400] |
| Rather “Sloroppy,” | [403] |
| Sniffing the Battle from Afar, | [404] |
| Alighting Gracefully, | [407] |
| Revenge is Sweet, | [411] |
| The Exploring Party, | [413] |
| “Up he Comes,” | [416] |
| Unpromising Outlook, | [418] |
| No Collar, No Crumbs, | [422] |
| The Sexton, | [429] |
| The Clergyman in Limbo, | [432] |
| Sleepy Doby, | [440] |
| Opening his Heart, | [444] |
| Swearing to Get Even, | [449] |
| A Moving Scene, | [457] |
| Slipping Off the Mortal Coil, | [458] |
| The Last of his Race, | [460] |
| Abe Drake, | [464] |
| Kate Rykert, | [466] |
| Mrs. O’Laughlan, | [472] |
| Just as it Was, | [473] |
| Curing People’s Corns, | [478] |
| Bummers on the Raid, | [484] |
| A Drowsy Jury, | [490] |
| The Rocky Road to Masonry, | [495] |
| June, | [497] |
| The Fire Department, | [506] |
| Peering into the Depths, | [508] |
| Good-Bye, | [509] |
| Sketching from Nature, | [510] |
| So Sick! | [511] |
| At the Rail, | [512] |