THE PRESIDENT OF THE ACADEMY.
A member then presented the Academy with a new species of snail, or slug, which he found in the mountains, and which had but one horn. He proposed having it called a “unicorn snail.” Quite a controversy followed. Several members maintained that the snail imprudently left its horns out over night, and one, getting nipped by the frost, dropped off. This proposition angered the generous donor, and reaching forth a hand trembling with emotion, he lifted the snail from the palm of the admiring President, and laid it down gently upon the floor—as a mother might deposit an infant in the cradle—and while the Academy stood spell-bound, before a tongue could be loosened from the roof of a mouth, or a hand stretched to save, he planted the sole of a number eleven boot upon the crowning back of the little gasteropod, and when he lifted his foot again, all that was visible of the one-horned snail was a little grease spot upon the floor, the size of an average rain drop. This inhuman act seemed to throw a gloom over the Academy.
No further business appearing, the meeting adjourned.
OUR TABLE GIRL.
“O, those girls!
Naughty, laughing, beautiful girls.”—Old Song.
I commenced boarding in a new place to-day, and am completely smitten by the charming table girl—
Oh, she is young and bright and fair,
With midnight eyes and inky hair,