Marriage was not a religious contract or ceremony. It was simply regarded as a civil compact, owing to the relations which man and wife held towards each other in regard to property. It was the means of joining families together, which was called tengja saman,[[1]] and therefore the relation was called tengdir. Consequently marriage itself was a bargain and on that account was called brud-kaup (bride-buying).
When a man had selected for himself, or by the advice of his parents, a woman or maiden whom he wanted to marry, he, accompanied by his father, or nearest relatives or best friends, and by a retinue, according to his rank, went to get the consent of the father, or of those who were the guardians of the woman. It was the exception for the suitor himself not to go on this journey, which was called bonordsför (suit journey).[[2]]
“Njal once said to his son Helgi, ‘I have thought of a match for thee, kinsman, if thou wilt follow my advice.’ ‘Certainly I will,’ he said, ‘for I know both that thou meanest it well and knowest well how to act; but what is it?’ ‘We will ask in marriage the daughter of Asgrim Ellidagrimsson, for she is the best match.’ Shortly afterwards they rode out across the Thjórsá (a river), until they came to Tunga. Asgrim was at home, and received them well, and they stayed there over night. The next day they proceeded to talk the matter over. Njal opened the subject, and asked for the hand of Thorhalla for his son Helgi. Asgrim received this well, and said that with no men was he more desirous to bargain than with them. They then talked about the matter, and at last Asgrim betrothed his daughter to Helgi, and the wedding feast was agreed upon” (Njala, c. 26, 27).
The suitor, even if present, had a spokesman who spoke on his behalf, and enumerated his good qualities, deeds of valour, &c., and other qualifications which might speak well for the suit. If the suit was favourably received, a talk ensued in regard to the conditions of the marriage.
Rut, a chief, went with his brother Höskuld to the Althing, and was told by him that he would like him to marry Unn, the daughter of Mörd Gigja. They went to his booth at the place of the Althing, and after awhile Höskuld said:—
“‘I should like to make a bargain with thee; Rut wants to buy thy daughter, and become thy son-in-law, and I shall not spare my property.’ Mörd answered: ‘I know thou art a great chief, but thy brother is unknown to me.’ Höskuld said: ‘He is a greater chief than I.’ Mörd added: ‘Thou must furnish him well, for she is the owner of all my inheritance.’ ‘Thou needest not wait long for what I shall fix upon,’ replied Höskuld; ‘he shall have Kambsnes and Rutstadir and the land as far as Thrandargil; he also has a trading ship on voyages abroad.’ Rut then said to Mörd: ‘You may think, bondi, that my brother has spoken so highly of me because he loves me, but if you will take the matter into consideration I want you to state your conditions.’ Mörd answered: ‘I have thought of the conditions. She shall have 60 hundreds, and it shall be increased with one-third from thy farm, but if you have an heir each of you shall have the half.’ Rut said: ‘These conditions I accept; and now let us have witnesses’” (Njala, c. 2).[[3]]
The qualities which the parents or guardians took most into consideration were good birth, powerful and prominent relatives. Families on both sides had to be well matched in rank, wealth, and personal bravery, the last being highly prized by the one whose hand was sought.
“The kings (Ingibjörg’s brothers) went to a feast at Framnes[[4]] with Fridthjóf, and, as usual, he treated them all better than they were accustomed to be treated. Ingibjörg was there, and often spoke with Fridthjóf; she said to him: ‘Thou hast a good gold ring.’ ‘That is true,’ said Fridthjóf. Then the kings went home, and their envy against Fridthjóf increased. A little after Fridthjóf became very sad; Björn, his foster-brother, asked why he was so; he said he had it in mind to ask Ingibjörg in marriage; ‘though I have lower rank than her brothers, I am as good a man as they.’ Björn said: ‘Let us do it.’ The kings sat on their father’s mound, and Fridthjóf saluted them; afterwards he asked their sister Ingibjörg, Beli’s daughter, in marriage. The kings said: ‘It is very unwise to ask us to give her in marriage to a man of no rank, and we refuse it.’ Fridthjóf said: ‘Then my errand is ended. I will never hereafter give you any help though you may need it” (Fridthjóf’s Saga, c. 2).
“And Björn was king over Firdafylki. His jarl was Hróald, and Thorir was his son. Atli the Thin was then jarl at Gaular. His children were Hallstein, Hólmstein, Herstein, and Solveig the fair. One autumn many people were at Gaular at an autumn sacrifice. Then Ölvir Hnúfa saw Solveig, and liked her well. He asked her in marriage, but the jarl thought there was inequality of rank and would not consent to the marriage. Thereupon Ölvir made many songs of love. He loved Solveig so much that he left off Viking expeditions” (Egil’s Saga, c. 2).
“Grimkel, a godi, said: ‘I am told for certain, Valbrand, that thou hast a daughter called Signy, who is very accomplished; I want to ask her in marriage, if thou wilt marry her to me.’ Valbrand answered: ‘It is known to us that thou art of good kin and art wealthy, and a great champion; I will give a favourable answer to this’” (Hörd’s Saga, c. 3).