The first matter settled was the heimanfylgja (home-following, or dowry), which follows the bride as given by the parents, or by those who had the right to give her away; and then what the man had to set against the dowry of his intended, which was called tilgjöf, or counter gift. This latter stood in a certain proportion to the former, and generally formed a third of the whole coming to the wife. It was occasionally decided at the same time what linfé[[10]] (linen fee) the husband should give to his wife on the morning after their wedding.
“The king (Svein of Denmark) and the jarl agreed that Thyri (Svein’s sister) should have the possessions in Vindland which Gunnhild (deceased wife of Svein, daughter of Búrisleif) had owned, and also other large possessions as dower (tilgjöf). Thyri wept sorely, and went, very much against her will. When they came to Vindland Búrisleif made his wedding-feast and married Thyri, but she would neither take food nor drink from the heathens for seven days” (Olaf Tryggvason’s Saga, c. 99).
The dowry included movable property and lands.
“The mother shall take as much property if her daughter dies childless as she has given her from home, and also the mund without interest. She and her children shall get this in preference to the father. Every man who has given anything for the heimanfylgja shall get it back if the wife dies childless, and also get the mund, if he has declared it at the betrothal or the wedding” (Gragas, i. 174).
The givers-away of the bride were called giptingar-men, and were either parents, kinsmen, or guardians.
After the preliminaries to the marriage had taken place, and the agreement had been announced to the witnesses, the festar or betrothal followed, when the parties became festarmadr or betrothed man, and festarkona or betrothed woman. This was a legal tie which could not be broken with impunity. The suitor went over to the father or guardian of the woman, and the latter betrothed her to him with a “handsal” (hand-shaking); at the same time both parties also named their witnesses to their betrothal. Gragas gives the formula used at this ceremony, which is as follows:—
“A woman is betrothed according to law if a man recites the agreement about the mund; then the guardian and the man to whom the woman is betrothed shall name witnesses to it. The man who is betrothed shall say: ‘We name witnesses that thou N. N. betrothest thyself to me N. N. with a lawful betrothal, and givest me the heimanfylgja with hand-shaking, as the fulfilment and performance of the whole agreement which was a while ago recited between us without fraud and tricks.’ This is a complete and lawful match. It is lawful when the betrother is the one who has the right to betroth according to law; and it is complete if the betrothed is in such health that she would be bought at no less price if she was a bondmaid, or has no other faults or blemishes which would make her cost less or which she had when sixteen winters old. But if these faults are found in the woman, the man who knowing it betrothed the woman is liable to lesser outlawry for it, and the wedding may be prevented if the man betrothed wishes it, provided he had before pronounced the words, ‘a complete and lawful match’—but not otherwise. Now if the betrothed man wants to demand the mund he shall summon the guardian, because he has betrothed the woman knowing such faults in her that she would cost less if she were a bondmaid. He shall summon him to lesser outlawry, and summon nine of his neighbours to the Thing. If the witnesses are against him he is to be outlawed, and the mund cannot be claimed. If the witnesses say that the guardian knew not the faults of the woman he can defend himself, but he cannot claim the mund unless he can get five dwellers at the farm of the woman as witnesses that she has not these faults; then the mund is to be paid back” (Gragas, i. 316).[[11]]
If the betrothed woman was injured or wronged in any way the man had the same right to gain redress as if she were his wife.
“Every man has full rétt on the behalf of his betrothed as well as his wife, as long as it is due; but if she sits at home in the house of a father or brother they have the full rétt on her behalf which her betrothed would otherwise have had” (Frostath., xi. 12).
“If a man runs away with a betrothed woman he shall pay full rétt to the betrothed man and also to her father” (Bjarkey law, 125).