AN AFRICAN BETROTHAL.
Do not think for a moment that women in that far-off country of which I speak to you choose their husbands. Nothing of the sort! When a girl is born among the Bakalai, while she is still a child she is often betrothed, and now and then she goes to the village where her future husband lives. Her mother or her father will take her there, and after a while she comes back to her home, and this continues until she is finally given away. As she grows older she visits her intended husband less frequently, while he, on the other hand, comes oftener to the village of her parents.
You will ask me how they get betrothed or engaged. No ring is given. The man who comes to ask the girl comes first to talk the matter over. He brings a few presents, say a goat or a few fowls, and a few jars of palm wine, and places them at the feet of the girl’s father. Then he begins a long rigmarole, and if he could he would go as far back as Adam. At first he speaks at random, talking to somebody else all the time, for they never speak directly to the person they address. Thus he goes on for a couple of hours before he comes to the point. In the mean time the presents are still lying before the father. The whole people of the village are there listening, and approving or disapproving by grunts. The man gets tremendously excited, and begins to halloo until he is covered with perspiration. After he has finished there is a pause. Somebody else gets up, and pleads sometimes for the suitor, and sometimes in behalf of the villagers or relatives to whom the girl belongs.
At last the father gets up, and he tries to play a shrewd game. He never means what he says; he talks not to the suitor but to one that has come with him, for it is the fashion here, as I have said, never to speak directly to the person whom you wish to address. He seems astonished that a man is bold enough to ask his beautiful daughter in marriage. He sings her praises, generally pockets the presents, and says he will think about it.
After this palaver the relations on the mother’s and the father’s side are presented with the amount for which the girl is sold; and when the final agreement has been made, the spoils are divided among the two families.
This is the way girls are given in marriage in this part of the world.
Mbango had a beautiful girl, whom he seemed to love dearly, and she was not betrothed. One day a fellow came from a neighboring village. He had with him a slave to give to Mbango, several jars of palm wine, a goat, some native tobacco coming from a country of the interior, called Ashira, and he put all these things at the feet of Mbango, who was seated on a stool and ready to hear him. After having talked a long time, he presented his slave, his goat, and all the presents he had brought with him to the King, and asked his daughter in marriage.
Old Mbango got up and pretended to be in a furious rage, but it was all sham; he kicked and broke the jars of palm wine. How could a man come and presume to offer him only one slave for his daughter, she who was sought after by so many suitors? He could not believe his ears; and Mbango went roaming about, brandishing his cane. In the mean time the poor fellow had fled in dismay, leaving his slave, his goat, and all his presents behind.
MBANGO GIVES HIS DAUGHTER IN MARRIAGE.
Mbango’s pretended anger was a humbug. He wanted more presents, and appeared highly indignant. So the next day the suitor came back, and brought with him another slave he had kept in reserve, guessing that King Mbango would not be satisfied with one. He knew well that it required more than one in order to marry the daughter of a chief, and he wanted to get his bride as cheap as he could. Mbango looked very stern. How had he dared to come with one slave only? Did he think his daughter was good for nothing?