“You are a boor,” said my companion angrily; “you have failed in respect to the whole company, and you are not worthy to be magnetized.”
The peasant was not long-suffering; he lost his temper, declared that we were making fools of the poor people and that we were no more sorcerers than he was. At that, Master Graograicus attempted to expel the insolent villain who cast a doubt upon his learning. He pushed him with his wand. The angry peasant turned and seized my illustrious magnetizer by the beard. The hunchback cried out, the spectators came forward; the women called for help, the wiser sort contented themselves with laughing, and the partisans of magnetism rushed to the assistance of the poor sorcerer. He was fighting with Monsieur Nicole, who would not relax his grasp on the beard. In their struggles they approached the tub; they stumbled over it and both fell in, face down. Water cools and allays the passions. The peasant, on withdrawing his head from the tub, released his opponent’s beard and quietly left the room. My companion, who was thoroughly drenched, felt that he was no longer in a condition to make proselytes, and he declared the séance adjourned.
XIII
EFFECTS OF THE PHILTERS.—BROTHER JACQUES LEAVES HIS COMPANION
Despite the unpleasant conclusion of our first séance in magnetism, we did a very good business at the Tête-Noire. Clairette gave us all the information that we desired, and to avoid a repetition of the Eustache Nicole episode, we admitted only those persons who had entered their names beforehand.
But the public curiosity abated, and the effects of our pills did not always correspond to the expectations of the purchasers. Moreover, I began to be less in love with Clairette; I had surprised her several times being rejuvenated by Pierre and Jérôme, and that had taken away all the illusion of a first love. So that I was not disappointed when my companion suggested that we should go away.
For six months we lived in that same way, remaining a longer or shorter time in one place according to the number of dupes we made there. That worked very well; but we did not always find accomplices, and then we were likely to make serious mistakes. One day I told a money-lender that he didn’t care for money, a drunkard that he didn’t like wine, a gambler that he didn’t care for cards, and a bachelor that his wife was false to him; you can imagine, Sans-Souci, that we did not make a brilliant success in that town.
I began to be tired of that kind of life; I had informed my companion that I wished to leave him, but he always strove to keep me. But one day I resolved to give my love of mischief a free rein and to play some trick on him that would take away all desire on his part to have me for a partner.
We were in a small town where we were performing miracles. Magnetism and somnambulism seemed to have turned everyone’s head; people fought for the privilege of consulting us first, of obtaining private conferences. I could not fill the orders for pills, and even the charms were selling very well. It was in that place that I determined to try an experiment of my own invention on the fools who applied to us.
An old advocate had been paying court for some time to a coquette of uncertain age, who refused to respond to his flame, but did not cease to listen to his tender declarations. The lady was crafty, she was well pleased to inspire passions, and she was afraid of losing her influence over her adorer if she yielded to his desires. They both came to consult us: the advocate to learn how to soften the heart of his charmer, and she, how to retain the charms that made so many men wretched. My companion promised Monsieur Gérard—that was the old suitor’s name—a philter that would make the coldest woman amorous; and he promised Madame Dubelair a charm that would shelter hers from the ravages of time.
In the same house with Madame Dubelair lived the deputy mayor of the town. Monsieur Rose was an excellent man; but his wife complained of one great failing in him; he was not enough in love with her, and was not in the slightest degree jealous. So Madame Rose also came to consult us as to the means she could employ to put an end to her husband’s indifference. To make a husband amorous of his wife after fifteen years of wedlock was rather difficult. Nevertheless my companion promised Madame Rose a philter with a marvelous power of causing jealousy, and the dear soul went away, overjoyed to know that she might still hope to drive her husband frantic.