“Oh! that makes a difference,” she said; and she ceased to resist.
“He may kiss you, too,” I said; and I proceeded to kiss her repeatedly, on her cheeks and her lips. She made no objection.—See how dangerous ignorance often is! there was an innocent with whom a man might do whatever he chose by means of false arguments.
But as I heard my sister I released Pélagie, who allowed herself to be kissed with charming docility. Indeed, I fancied that she was beginning to show some animation.
“Come,” said my sister, as she entered the room, “it’s time to go back to your aunt, my dear Pélagie; she might not like it if you should stay away any longer. You have had plenty of time to talk, and you will have still more when you’re married. Take your shawl and let us go.”
Pélagie took her shawl without a word, and prepared to go with my sister. I bade her adieu, whereupon she gave me a decidedly tender glance. I believed that my kisses had produced some effect on her heart, and that belief made me a little more hopeful of the future.
I realized now that my bride had no intelligence; perhaps I might have gone further; but I must needs make the best of it. I did not think that, in order to be happy, one must have a genius for a wife; bright women are generally very tiresome in their homes, and she who devotes her time to displaying the gifts she has received from nature very rarely thinks of taking care of her children and gratifying her husband. As soon as a woman believes herself to be more intelligent than her husband, she refuses to be governed by him. Moreover, I had had many liaisons with clever women, and the result had not been flattering to me. Agathe, Caroline, and Madame de Marsan were all bright. And Nicette? she was, too; and yet—— Well, it was very fortunate that my betrothed was not. I was well aware that there was a great distance between a genius and a blockhead, and that if pretentiousness is irksome, stupidity is even more so. But I hoped that marriage, which works so many metamorphoses, would succeed in forming Pélagie’s judgment. I had already fancied that I could see that my caresses had stirred her pulses. There is a time when nature seems benumbed; at such a time a crisis is necessary. Perhaps Pélagie’s heart and mind only needed that crisis to develop rapidly.
XXXI
I MARRY
The great day arrived when I was to utter that solemn yes which would bind me forever. Forever is a very long time—it is very short when one is happy!
At times melancholy thoughts oppressed me. I was not in love with the woman I was about to marry, and I felt that it was the absence of love that made us walk so carelessly toward the altar. Love, who charms the present and embellishes the future, is a god whose presence is most essential on the wedding day; he ought always to preside on such occasions. However, I proposed to do without him; indeed, I must, for whom could I love now? I should have ceased to think of her, but I still thought of her. She did not love me; and if she had loved me, could I have married her? It would have been madness; but is the madness which makes one happy so very blameworthy?
I felt tears in my eyes. Was that the proper way to begin that day? It was my last thought of her. Henceforth I would never think of the past. I must try to be light-hearted, to be amiable with Pélagie. Amiable! she would not notice it! But, no matter; I must forget myself.