She lets you have ze mostes' fun,

An' laffs at all your jokes.

I got a ol' maid auntie, too,

The worst you ever saw;

Her eyes ist bore you through and through,—

She ain't a bit like ma.

She's ist as slim, as slim can be,

An' when you want to slide

Down on ze balusters, w'y she

Says 'at she's harrified.