“Nonsense!” sniffed Mrs. Blodgett, as I helped her into her carriage. “You’re going to do as I tell you.”
You did not speak in the moment we waited for your coupé to take its place, but as the tiger opened the door you looked in my face for the first time since my words, showing me eyes that told of the pain I had inflicted.
“I am sorry,” you said quietly. “I had thought—hoped—that we were to be friends.”
There was nothing for me to say, and we parted thus. From that time I have seen little of you, for when I meet you now you no longer make it possible for me to have much of your society. And my persistent refusal to go to the concert with Mrs. Blodgett and Agnes increased their irritation against me, so that I am no longer asked to their home, and thus have lost my most frequent opportunity of meeting you. But harder even than this deprivation is the thought that I have given you pain; made all the greater, perhaps, because so ill deserved and apparently unreasonable. I find myself longing for the hour when we shall meet at that far-away tribunal, where all our lives, and not alone that which is seen, will stand revealed. For two months I have not had a single moment of happiness or even hope. I am lonely and weary, while my strength and courage seem to lessen day by day. Oh, my darling, I pray God that thought of you will make me stronger and braver, that I may go on with my fight. Good-night.
XXII
March 13. Last night, at the Philomathean, Mr. Blodgett joined me, and asked me why I had not dined with them lately. He returned only a few days ago, and was thus ignorant that I have not been inside his door for weeks. I hesitated for an instant, and then replied, “I have been working very hard.”
“What are you usually doing?” he asked, smiling. “Come in to Sunday dinner to-morrow.”
“I shall be too busy with a lot of manuscripts I have on hand, that must be read,” I told him.
“Stop killing yourself,” he ordered. “As it is, you look as if you were on the brink of a bad illness. You won’t get on a bit faster by dying young.”