Owing to his public employment, Washington refused to be guardian for these “little ones,” writing “that it would be injurious to the children and madness in me, to undertake, as a principle, a trust which I could not discharge. Such aid, however, as it ever may be with me to give to the children especially the boy, I will afford with all my heart, and on this assurance you may rely.” Yet “from their earliest infancy” two of Jack’s children, George Washington Parke and Eleanor Parke Custis, lived at Mount Vernon, for, as Washington wrote in his will, “it has always been my intention, since my expectation of having issue has ceased, to consider the grandchildren of my wife in the same light as my own relations, and to act a friendly part by them.” Though the cares of war prevented his watching their property interests, his eight years’ absence could not make him forget them, and on his way to Annapolis, in 1783, to tender Congress his resignation, he spent sundry hours of his time in the purchase of gifts obviously intended to increase the joy of his homecoming to the family circle at Mount Vernon; set forth in his note-book as follows:
| “By Sundries bot. in Phila. | |
| A Locket | £5 5 |
| 3 Small Pockt. Books | 1 10 |
| 3 Sashes | 1 5 0 |
| Dress Cap | 2 8 |
| Hatt | 3 10 |
| Handkerchief | 1 |
| Childrens Books | 4 6 |
| Whirligig | 1 6 |
| Fiddle | 2 6 |
| Quadrille Boxes | 1 17 6.” |
Indeed, in every way Washington showed how entirely he considered himself as a father, not merely speaking of them frequently as “the children,” but even alluding to himself in a letter to the boy as “your papa.” Both were much his companions during the Presidency. A frequent sight in New York and Philadelphia was Washington taking “exercise in the coach with Mrs. Washington and the two children,” and several times they were taken to the theatre and on picnics.
For Eleanor, or “Nelly,” who grew into a great beauty, Washington showed the utmost tenderness, and on occasion interfered to save her from her grandmother, who at moments was inclined to be severe, in one case to bring the storm upon himself. For her was bought a “Forte piano,” and later, at the cost of a thousand dollars, a very fine imported harpsichord, and one of Washington’s great pleasures was to have her play and sing to him. His ledger constantly shows gifts to her ranging from “The Wayworn traveller, a song for Miss Custis,” to “a pr. of gold eardrops” and a watch. The two corresponded. One letter from Washington merits quotation:
ELLANOR (NELLY) CUSTIS
“Let me touch a little now on your Georgetown ball, and happy, thrice happy, for the fair who assembled on the occasion, that there was a man to spare; for had there been 79 ladies and only 78 gentlemen, there might, in the course of the evening have been some disorder among the caps; notwithstanding the apathy which one of the company entertains for the ‘youth’ of the present day, and her determination ‘Never to give herself a moment’s uneasiness on account of any of them.’ A hint here; men and women feel the same inclinations towards each other now that they always have done, and which they will continue to do until there is a new order of things, and you, as others have done, may find, perhaps, that the passions of your sex are easier raised than allayed. Do not therefore boast too soon or too strongly of your insensibility to, or resistance of, its powers. In the composition of the human frame there is a good deal of inflammable matter, however dormant it may lie for a time, and like an intimate acquaintance of yours, when the torch is put to it, that which is within you may burst into a blaze; for which reason and especially too, as I have entered upon the chapter of advices, I will read you a lecture from this text.”
Not long after this was written, Nelly, as already mentioned, was married at Mount Vernon to Washington’s nephew, Lawrence Lewis, and in time became joint-owner with her husband of part of that place.
As early as 1785 a tutor was wanted for “little Washington,” as the lad was called, and Washington wrote to England to ask if some “worthy man of the cloth could not be obtained,” “for the boy is a remarkably fine one, and my intention is to give him a liberal education.” His training became part of the private secretary’s duty, both at Mount Vernon and New York and Philadelphia, but the lad inherited his father’s traits, and “from his infancy … discovered an almost unconquerable disposition to indolence.” This led to failures which gave Washington “extreme disquietude,” and in vain he “exhorted him in the most parental and friendly manner.” Custis would express “sorrow and repentance” and do no better. Successively he was sent to the College of Philadelphia, the College of New Jersey, and that at Annapolis, but from each he was expelled, or had to be withdrawn. Irritating as it must have been, his guardian never in his letters expressed anything but affection, shielded the lad from the anger of his step-father, and saw that he was properly supplied with money, of which he asked him to keep a careful account,—though this, as Washington wrote, was “not because I want to know how you spend your money.” After the last college failure a private tutor was once more engaged, but a very few weeks served to give Washington “a thorough conviction that it was in vain to keep Washington Custis to any literary pursuits, either in a public Seminary or at home,” and, as the next best thing, he procured him a cornetcy in the provisional army. Even here, balance was shown; for, out of compliment and friendship to Washington, “the Major Generals were desirous of placing him as lieutenant in the first instance; but his age considered, I thought it more eligible that he should enter into the lowest grade.”