Thus by the study of New Theology and Higher Criticism all belief in the fundamental doctrines of Christianity were destroyed one after another, and I was again left to my former self. I was introduced into the Christian religion by the front gate of orthodoxy, and led out of it by the back gate of New Theology into my old heathen doubt and unbelief.
The enlightened heathen hold the same view as the liberals with regard to the Bible and Christ. They also believe that the Bible is a good book, but that it contains both truth and error. They too believe that Jesus was a great and good man, but a man only, and not God. So these enlightened heathen are standing on the same ground as the liberals, and there is no need of going to them and teaching them the doubts and unbeliefs they already have.
By this time my vision of the future world and eternal life became very vague and obscure. The unseen world became now very misty and foggy. I could not see clearly, and so I was shut up to this world. I thought, “Let the future take care of itself; my concern is in this world alone.” Thus I became a man of the world. Now my philosophy was to be healthy, wealthy, happy, and good. To have a strong body, a comfortable living, a happy home, and a good reputation in this world is enough for any man. It was not my theory only, but I put it into practise as much as I could, and I attained my objects pretty well, except for the second one. I had a good wife and nine children, all well and good, and a happy home. I was strong and healthy, and was quite popular, and was regarded as one of the most successful social reformers in my country. I was not so selfish as to think only of my own happiness, but I tried to make other people happy also. I became a preacher of thrift and economy; and during twenty years I was engaged in teaching the gospel of saving, not souls, but money. I traveled all over the country, from one end to the other, and delivered several thousand lectures on the subject of economy and saving. During this time I think I preached the doctrine of saving to over five million people. I am known, even now, in Japan, more as a preacher of saving money than a preacher of saving souls. I think I have done some little good in this respect to the people of my own country, and I believe the government, as well as my people, recognize this fact. I was quite satisfied with my worldly success, not knowing that such satisfaction is the most dangerous menace to a man’s spiritual life.
But all this was simply the outward appearance. If you look a little deeper into the matter, you will soon find out what a dreadful state a backsliding man can come into. At first it was a matter of intellectual doubt and unbelief. I was shaken in my mind by the arguments of New Theology. But the work of the Devil did not stop here. I was now shaken morally and spiritually. This moral shaking made most dreadful havoc in my spiritual life. Sin crept in, and I was made a captive again. Oh, what a wretched man I was in those days of backsliding! Even to think of those days gives me unendurable pain. I strayed so far away that even my friends lost their hope of my returning. Yet there were two women, one an American and the other a Japanese, who, I was afterward told, were praying for me without ceasing during those twenty years of my prodigal life. God in his faithfulness watched over me during all those years, and finally brought me back to fellowship with himself. He will never forsake those he has once redeemed.
Between the Bible of the orthodox faith and that of New Theology there is the difference of heaven and earth. One is heavenly, divine, and holy; the other is earthly, human, and therefore unholy. One is the God-given, infallible standard by which we measure all our conduct; the other consists of rules and regulations given by men, which we may use or not, as we may please. One is the Master whom we must obey absolutely, the other is the servant whom we may employ or not. One is an inexhaustible mine of eternal truth stored up by God; the other is a shallow pit dug by men. One is the living oracles of God; the other, dead documents of ancient wisdom. The Bible in the hand of New Theology has become an entirely different thing from that of the true Christian faith of the nineteenth century. It has entirely lost its divine authority, and therefore its teachings and commandments have no more binding power than mere human instruction.
CHAPTER III
THE SERVANT RESTORED
ONE of my missionary friends in Japan asked me to write a tract on the prodigal son. I told him I could not do it, because it would be just like writing my own story. How can I write such a shameful story? But now I would like to tell you a little about it, and show you how patient and long-suffering was my Saviour toward such a poor, erring child as myself during those long years of disobedience and prodigality. Simply for the glory of God I will give you the following story of my life.
You know, when the prodigal son left his father’s home he forgot everything. He forgot his father, his brother, his home, and his servants, and was entirely absorbed in his present enjoyment of worldly pleasures until a terrible calamity brought him to himself again. Then he recalled for the first time since he left his father’s home, “How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger.” Then he started homeward with a heavy heart, full of grief and remorse, and determined to reform and live a life of devotion to his father. But during all those days, perhaps years, his father had not forgotten his erring and wandering boy. He was waiting day and night for his return. Perhaps he was looking out from his windows every morning and evening in the direction his son had gone. One evening when he got a glimpse of his lost son he did not wait in his room for him, but jumped up and ran from his house to meet that wretched son.
Just so, my friend, during those twenty years of my prodigal life I forgot my heavenly Father, and my Saviour, and my spiritual home and inheritance. I had been absorbed entirely in my ambitious worldly career and earthly happiness, but my Father did not forget me. He had not forsaken me. He was watching and waiting all the while for my return. In his own time the Father himself arrested me in my wild career of worldly ambition and earthly enjoyment.
It was in this way. In the midst of my worldly prosperity and happiness my Father came down and suddenly took away my dear wife, leaving behind her nine motherless children, the youngest of whom was not quite four. I was overwhelmed with grief. But, oh, my children’s grief! They loved their mother very much. She was a devout woman, and not a backslider like myself. During the quarter of a century of our married life I had never heard a single murmur from her lips, nor a word of discouragement. She was always thankful and grateful for everything. She led such a beautiful life of love and devotion before her children that they almost worshiped her. When she was suddenly taken away from them, they were all thrown into the deepest grief, and they cried and wailed day and night, clinging to their dead mother. My friends came to comfort them, but they would not be comforted, because their mother was gone, and they could not see her again. Their grief was so intense that at one time I was afraid some of my children would go insane. A man may marry a second wife, and love her just as much as the first, but when children lose their own mother they can never have a second one whom they can love as their own. It was a most heartrending thought to me that death had made these nine children motherless forever.