"I just heard one of those soldiers ask that pretty school teacher to come and eat a Filipino with him!"
Lady—"Little boy, are you sure this butter is clean?"
Boy from the Country—"I low as how it ought to be. Ma and Sis set up half the night picking the specks out of it."
Squire's daughter—"Do you think it is quite healthy to keep your pigs so close to the cottage?"
Hodge—"I dunno, Miss. Noan of ther pigs ain't ever been ill."
Emaciated Invalid (just arrived at the springs)—"Is it true that drinking these waters produces fat?"
Native (weight 250)—"Produces fat? Why, stranger, when I came here I only weighed eight pounds, and look at me now!"