Book Agent—"Is the lady of the house in?"
Cook—"We're all ladies here, yez moonkey-faced divil! If yez mane the mishtress, say so!"
A Sunday-school teacher recently told her class about the cruelty of docking horses, says Our Dumb Animals. "Can any little girl tell me," she said, "of an appropriate verse of Scripture referring to such treatment?" A small girl rose and said solemnly, "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."
I am reminded of a sick man who had a talking wife. A doctor was sent for to prescribe for the husband. When he left he said to the wife: "Your husband is not dangerously ill. All he needs is rest, so I have prescribed this opiate."
"How often shall I give it to him?" she asked.
"Oh, don't give it to him at all. Take it yourself."