I think you are all persuaded, my brethren, of the wrong and the danger of Catholics going to a Protestant minister for marriage; and similar ones can be given why we should not go before a magistrate for that purpose. It is plain that the authorities of the State are not the right persons to assist officially at the sacraments of the church. It would be just as proper to ask the mayor to baptize your children as to go to him for marriage. To refer the matter of your marriage to him, however fine a man he may be personally, would be to acknowledge the right of the civil authority to take charge of religious affairs; and such a right Catholics cannot admit.
Besides, the magistrate labors under the same difficulty as a Protestant minister in conducting a Catholic marriage, of not knowing the laws of the church on the subject, and the impediments which may make the marriage invalid; that is, which may make it, though seemingly good, in reality no marriage at all. You know, for instance—to speak of this a little more fully—that the Catechism says that you should not marry within certain degrees of kindred; very well, it is not only forbidden to marry within these degrees, but a marriage within these degrees is not recognized by the laws of the church as a real and true marriage, and the parties have to be married over again, at least privately, if it is ever found out. And there are some other impediments which have the same effect. It is of no use to publish all these and try to explain them; many mistakes would be made, and matters would only be come worse. No, to be safe in all affairs of this kind you must go to those who have made a special study of it; just as you find out the law of the State from your lawyer, and not from a book. Go, then, to the priest; he is the one who has made a special study of the law of the church, and the only one.
In order to make sure that Catholic marriage shall be contracted before the priest, a law has been made, and binds in some countries, and in some parts even of this country, making it invalid, or null and void, if contracted without the presence of the parish priest of at least one of the parties. This does not, however, hold just here. But there is a very special and urgent law in this diocese, and in many others, forbidding the going to a Protestant minister for marriage, and reserving the absolution for this to the bishop, or some one authorized by him. Catholics, therefore, who are guilty of such a rash act get themselves into a very unpleasant position; still, they must, of course, try to get out of it sooner or later, and if any one finds himself in this predicament the only sensible thing to do is to come at once to the priest, who will help him as far as possible. All sins can be forgiven, and all mistakes rectified, if one has the right dispositions.
One word more on this most important subject. Some people seem to imagine that the difficulty which may come, especially in a mixed marriage, of avoiding the Protestant minister, may be got over by going both to him and to the priest, and going through the form of marriage twice. Now, let it be understood that this course cannot be thought of for a moment; for by it not only is the law broken which I have just mentioned, but a profanation of the sacrament also is committed by endeavoring to make the contract to which it is attached twice in the same case. It is as if one tried to be confirmed twice. No, in this matter there can be no compromise; a marriage in which a Catholic is a party must be put in charge of the Catholic clergy, and of no one else, except as far as mere settlements of money and the like are concerned.
Go, then, to the priest for marriage; do not think of doing anything else. But do not go to him, as I have said some people do, for the first time just at the moment you want the ceremony performed, and expect him to marry you off-hand; for there are some very important preliminaries to be settled first, and it may take some time to settle them.