“Yes, yes, I will. You say he had faith reaching far out––to where––to what?”
“He said there would never be rest in all the universe until we find everywhere God,––living––creating––moving forever in the––the––all.” She held out her hands and extended her arms in an encompassing movement indescribably full of grace.
“You mean he was a pantheist?”
“Oh, no, no. That is to you a horror, I see, but it 273 was not that.” She laughed again, so merrily that Harry laughed, too. But still he persisted, “Amalia––never mind what your father thought; tell me your own faith.”
Then she grew grave, “My faith is––just––God. In the all. Seeing––feeling––knowing––with us––for us––never away––in the deep night of sorrow––understanding. In the far wilderness––hearing. In the terror and remorse of the heart––when we weep for sin––loving. It is only one thing in all the world to learn, and that is to learn all things, just to reach out the mind, and touch God––to find his love in the heart and so always live in the perfect music of God. That is the wonderful harmony––and melody––and growth––of each little soul––and of all peoples, all worlds,––Oh, it is the universe of love God gives to us.”
For a while they were silent, and Madam Manovska began to move about the cabin, setting the things in order. She did not seem to have taken any interest in their talk. Harry rose to go, but first he looked in Amalia’s eyes.
“The perfect Music of God?” He said the words slowly and questioningly.
“You understand my meaning?”
“I can’t say. Do you?”
She quickly snatched up her violin which lay within reach of her arm. “I can better show you.” She drew a long chord, then from it wandered into a melody, sweet and delicate; then she drew other chords, and on into other melodies, all related; then she began to talk again. “It is only on two strings I am playing––for hear? the others are now souls out of the music of God––listen––” she drew her bow across the discordant strings. “How that is 274 terrible! So God creates great and beautiful laws––” she went back into the harmony and perfect melody, and played on, now changing to the discordant strain, and back, as she talked––“and gives to all people power to understand, but not through weakness––but through longing and searching with big earnestness of purpose, and much desire. Who has no care and desire for the music of God, strikes always those wrong notes, and all suffer as our ears suffer with the bad sounds. So it is, through long desiring, and living, always a little and a little more perceiving, reaching out the hand to touch in love our brothers and sisters on the earth,––always with patience learning to find in our own souls the note that strikes in harmony with the great thought of God––and thus we understand and live in the music of God. Ah, it is hard for me to say it––but it is as if our souls are given wings––wings––that reach––from the gold of the sun––even to the earth at our feet, and we float upon that great harmony of love like upon a wonderful upbearing sea, and never can we sink, and ever all is well––for we live in the thought of God.”