There were in the ship some persons who always desired all the good things of the voyage, which they obtained at the cost of much care and vigilance, but who were annoyed to have been seen, and to be seen by others, to have little will for the work, and to make a bad return for the affectionate treatment and the benefits they had received from the Captain. Others spoke to him many times, wishing to incite him to punish them, or to give them permission to stab such people.
To this the Captain replied that he had duties to all, and that it was for him, for just causes, to dissimulate and to suffer. And he did suffer; and those who were his friends suffered with him, and they would bear witness that during the expedition he was determined never to take life or reputation; and if he had done so, he would have been discontented and unquiet for all the rest of his life. For the rest, who could seek to have dead men present with him, or dishonoured men?
They said that these men did not recognise good works, nor do they merit untiring courtesies; nor could it be suffered that these men should go about with the full intention, as soon as they put their feet on shore, to speak evil of his person and services, and to ruin the cause he loved so well, without regard for what is true or reasonable and just, and merely with the object of avenging themselves.
The Captain said to this that it would be great cowardice to fear for the truth on account of lies; and that, if he should take account of ten or twelve worthless men, it would be here that it should be shown. He well knew, he said, the bad recompense of men, and that he never hoped for good report, so that he was not deceived; nor did he wish to waste a single moment on such nonsense, having need for time for more important matters.
They said that God punishes those who deserve it.
The Captain answered that God pardons, has long suffering and waits, and that when He determines to punish, He cannot deceive nor be deceived. He himself had understood the naturally evil dispositions of some, and the unstable and changeable characters of others. He feared from many the vengeance desired by their passions, which being blind, can deceive as much as he can be deceived by his enemies. To pardon ingrates and enemies without having cause to do so—to do them good by force, if they wish to know—was a very great vengeance; and greater courage was shown by having power and not using it, and still greater to defend them, being enemies, and to overcome them when he addressed his discourses to them. He had come out of this first attempt without blood having been on his knife, although he had bought this result very dear, and it would cost him more hereafter. He considered himself well employed in securing that this expedition should have fame equal to that of other passed expeditions; and that over the bones of so many martyrs there should rise such a good work, with good repute in the world, which was that for which he took most heed.
They said that piety was very good, and also that it was reasonable to punish the bad.
The Captain replied to this that the Emperor Theodosius said, on a certain occasion, that he would like to have the power to give life to all who are dead. Charles V suffered, and pardoned very many; deemed it right to give punishment measured out by his will; and the same was done by George Castriot and many valorous and prudent Captains—mirrors in which he was looking night and day, with the desire to imitate them. Piety is worthy of praise, and is the more celebrated when it is most observed. If to pardon the faults of men, as he was, hoping for their amendment, was not caused by natural piety, it would have been less so to treat, so much at his cost, a work altogether pious. For his part, piety was so applauded and practised in the greater; but this did not appear a reason to deny it in lesser, nor that suffering should come to an end for all. Being about to die, and at a time when he was seeking a port in which to bring the voyage to an end, all the ill-will that had appeared and the concealed spite might also end; and the more to humiliate them, though they might be rebels, he would protect them; saying that he had experienced this time, for the undeceiving of others, that there were men with hearts so hard that kindness would not soften them, and that they would give evil for good. When it should be so, he would say what he wished and do what he could; that his voice had been as little heard as the little justice done him, and the low opinion of him. It is certain that the vulgar will have to judge this business with very different feelings from what he intended; and that when he should give sentence it was more desirable that it should be pious than cruel—rather reputable than severe. He said, finally, that justice was an excellent virtue, and very necessary in the world; but yet let it be exercised by others who have the habit, rather than by him among those who use little reason, the witnesses being enemies, to investigate the truth without more or less help.
A Notable Event.
There was a sailor in our company, of Aragonese nationality: a well-disposed and soldierly youth, so well endowed with parts and graces, that for them his person deserved and was highly esteemed by all on board. Being in 24° N., and two leagues from the shore, this lad was called and searched for in all parts of the ship and in the parts aloft, without an answer and without being found, being wanted to take the helm in the morning watch. It was reported to the Captain, who ordered the ship to be put about and further search to be made. All parts of the sea were examined, his name was cried out, signals were made with fire, all the rest of the night and part of the following day being devoted to the search, without getting a sight of him, nor any mark to guide us.