We shall only add, that as the Spartans used to exhibit a tipsy slave to their children with a view to disgust them with drunkenness, so we, by giving a few examples here and there, of incorrect phraseology, shall expose, in their naked deformity, the vices of speech to the ingenuous reader.


LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

Page
FRONTISPIECE.[Frontispiece]
MINERVA TEACHING[x]
JOHN BULL[12]
THE “PRODIGY”[14]
“JANE YOU KNOW WHO”[18]
MUTES AND LIQUIDS[23]
AWKWARD LOUT[24]
HA! HA! HA! HO! HO! HO! HE! HE! HE![27]
“O!, WHAT, A, LARK!—HERE, WE, ARE!”[28]
ALDIBORONTIPHOSCOPHORMIO AND CHRONONHOTONTHOLOGOS[34]
SINGLE BLESSEDNESS[40]
APPLE SAUCE[45]
MATILDA[48]
A SOCIALIST[50]
“SHAN’T I SHINE TO NIGHT, DEAR?”[51]
JULIA[57]
A VERY BAD CASE[59]
A SELECT VESTRY[69]
SELF-ESTEEM[78]
“FACT, MADAM!”—“GRACIOUS, MAJOR!”[82]
YEARS OF DISCRETION[89]
“I SHALL GIVE YOU A DRUBBING!”[97]
A COMICAL CONJUNCTION[106]
“AS WELL AS CAN BE EXPECTED”[108]
“HOW’S YOUR INSPECTOR?”[119]
“WHAT A DUCK OF A MAN!”[120]
THE FLIRT[122]
THE CAPTAIN[128]
THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON[131]
“OH! YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING MAN!”[137]
THE YOUNG GENTLEMAN[139]
“VIRTUE’S REWARD”[142]
“NOT TO MINCE MATTERS, MISS, I LOVE YOU”[145]
THE FRENCH MARQUIS[149]
“THE ENGAGED ONES”[153]
“THE LADIES!”[156]
“HIT ONE OF YOUR OWN SIZE!”[158]
ALL FOR LOVE[169]
“TALE OF A TUB”[170]
“A RESPECTABLE MAN”[177]
DOING WHAT YOU LIKE WITH YOUR OWN[180]
“WHAT A LITTLE DEAR!”[183]
BRUTUS[187]
THE TWO DOVES[190]
“THE NASTY LITTLE SQUALLING BRAT”[205]
“OH, JEMIMA!”[214]
LOVE AND MURDER[216]
STANDING ON POINTS[218]
“WHERE GOT’ST THOU THAT GOOSE?”[219]

PRELIMINARY DISCOURSE.

Our native country having been, from time immemorial, entitled Merry England, it is clear that, provided it has been called by a right name, a Comic Grammar will afford the most hopeful means of teaching its inhabitants their language.