THE BARBER. Yes, sir. That is correct.

THE CUSTOMER. And it's—

THE BARBER. Easy, sir, easy! The razor is sharp! ( Shaving. ) When I promised to shave you in five minutes, I didn't say anything about lathering. That takes several minutes by itself.

THE CUSTOMER. What?

THE BARBER. Now you've done it! ( He applies styptic to a cut on THE CUSTOMER's face. ) Smarts, doesn't it?

THE CUSTOMER. ( Furious ) You clumsy, awkward, conceited galoot!

THE BARBER. ( With sudden and overwhelming rage ) Don't talk to a gentleman like that! You cur! ( With a sudden resumption of his obsequious manner. ) I did it on purpose.

THE CUSTOMER. ( Gasping ) Wh-what do you mean?

THE BARBER. ( Respectfully ) You really mustn't accuse me of being clumsy, sir. I'm not clumsy. If I cut you, it was quite intentional—like this! ( Cutting him a second time. )

THE CUSTOMER. Damnation! Are you crazy?