"To avoid confusion," interrupted Lycas, "give me a reason for all particulars as I shall ask you; and first, if they came with design to surrender themselves, why did they cut off their hair? for all disguises are assum'd rather to deceive than satisfie the injur'd.
"Next, if they expected to ingratiate them selves by their embassadour, why have you endeavoured in everything, to conceal them you were to speak for? whence it plainly appears, 'twas by accident the offenders were brought to punishment, and that you have us'd this artifice to divert our suspicion. Sure you thought to raise our envy, by ringing in our ears, that they were gentlemen, and men of worth; but have a care their cause don't suffer by your impudence; what shou'd the injur'd do when the guilty come to 'em to be punisht? And if they were my friends, they deserve to be more severely treated; for he that wrongs a stranger is call'd a rogue, but he that serves a friend so, is little less than a parricide."
"I am sencible," said Eumolpus, answering this dreadful harangue, "that nothing cou'd happen to these unhappy young men more unfortunate than the cutting their hair off at midnight, which is the only argument that may perswade you to mistake their voluntary coming here, for accidental; but I shall as candidly endeavour to undeceive you, as it was innocently acted: before they imbarkt they had designs to ease their heads of that, as troublesome as useless weight, but the unexpected wind that hasten'd us on board, made 'em defer it; nor did they suspect it to be of any moment where 'twas done, being equally ignorant of the ill omen, and customs of mariners."
"What advantage," reply'd Lycas, "cou'd they propose to themselves by the loss of their hair? unless they thought baldness might sooner raise our compassion: Or can you believe I wou'd be satisfy'd in your relation? when addressing himself to me, What poyson, said he, thou villain, has eat your hair off? To what god have your sacrilegious hands offer'd it?"
The fear of punishment struck me speechless; nor cou'd I find any thing to urge in my defence against so plain an accusation. Then the confusion I was in, my disfigur'd face, with the equal baldness of my head and eye-brows, gave a ridiculous air to everything I said or did; but when they wip'd us with a wet spunge, the letters melting into one, spread o'er our faces such a sooty cloud that turn'd Lycas's rage to a perfect loathing. Eumolpus cou'd not endure to see free-born men against all law and justice so abus'd, and returning their threats with blows, not only was our advocate but champion too. He was seconded by his man, and two or three sick passengers appear'd our friends, that serv'd rather to encourage us, than encrease our force.
Upon which I was so far from begging pardon, that without any respect I held my fists at Tryphœna, and plainly told her she shou'd feel me, if her lecherous ladiship, who only in the ship deserv'd to be punisht, was not content to decline her pretentions to Gito.
The angry Lycas was all rage at my impudence; and very impatient of revenge when he found, without any concern for my own cause, I stood up for another's.
Nor was Tryphœna less disturb'd at my contempt of her; at what time every one in the vessel choose his side and put himself in a posture of defence.
On our side Eumolpus's slave distributed the instruments of his trade, and reserv'd a razor to defend his own person; on the other, Tryphœna and her attendants advanc'd, armed with nothing but their nails and tongues; which last supply'd the want of drums in their army; when the pilot, crying out, threaten'd he wou'd leave the ship to the mercy of the waves if they continued the bustle rais'd about the lust of two or three vagabonds.
This did not in the least retard the fight; they pressing for revenge, we for our lives: in short, many fell half dead on both sides; others withdrew, as from greater armies, to be drest of their wounds; yet this damps not the rage of either side.