Seedy American. “Waal, guess I don’t think so durned much of your Thames Embankment, neither. It rained all the blarmed time the night I slep on it.”
A HOMELY TEST.
Ethel (reading from book of familiar sayings). “‘A Man at Forty is either a Fool or a Physician.’ That’s rather funny, Kate. Daddy is more than Forty, and he’s certainly not a Physician!”
AT A LITERARY AND ARTISTIC BANQUET.
Waiter (to Colleague). “Well, they may ’ave the Intellec’, Fred, but we certainly ’as the Good Looks!”
NOTES OF TRAVEL.
Foreign Husband (whose Wife is going to remain longer). “Gif me Two Dickets. Von for Me to come back, and von for my Vife not to come back!”