French & English

by Philip Gilbert Hamerton

Catholic Horror.

We all know that the relation between the sexes is of a dual nature; that it is both physical and mental. A man may be attracted to a woman by a physical impulse, or by a desire for her companionship, or by both at the same time. This we all know and admit; but the fiction of our conventionalism, and a very curious and wonderful fiction it is, excludes one or the other of the two reasons for cohabitation after ascertaining whether it is, or is not, in accordance with received usages. If the cohabitation is not of a customary kind, it is at once assumed that physical pleasure is the only object of it; and that pleasure is spoken of in terms of disgust, as vile, sensual, and degrading. If, however, the cohabitation is of a customary kind, not only is the physical pleasure permitted without reproach, but it is conventionally ignored as non-existent, and the motive for cohabitation is held to be the pure desire for companionship. One of the best examples of this contrast is the different way of regarding the marriage of ecclesiastics in a Catholic and in a Protestant community. An Anglican clergyman gets married, and the incident, being in accordance with custom, conveys no idea to the Protestant mind beyond this—that the clergyman may have felt lonely by himself, and wanted the help, the companionship, the gentle affection of a wife. The physical relation is set aside, it is simply not thought about, and even this slight and passing allusion to it may be condemned as unbecoming. Now let us turn to the state of opinion in Roman Catholic countries. There, when people hear of the marriage of an ecclesiastic, they think of nothing but the physical relation, and they think of it as disgusting, filthy, and obscene, though, in fact, it is simply natural and no more. In this case the desire for companionship is ignored, and physical appetite alone is assumed to be the motive for the union. A case has occurred of a Protestant ecclesiastic, who married after his elevation to a bishopric. I despair of conveying to the English reader any idea of the aspect that such a union must have for Catholics who have never lived amongst Protestants. For them it is not only monstrous as an outrage against custom, but it even seems monstrous in the sense of being unnatural. Something of this Catholic horror remained even in the strong mind of Queen Elizabeth. She was near enough to Catholic times, and had still enough of Catholic sentiment, to be unable to look upon a bishop’s wife without loathing.

Marriage with a Deceased Wife’s Sister.

When custom partly but not entirely tolerates cohabitation, we find the two ideas predominating in different people. Marriage with a deceased wife’s sister is, for those who are favourable to it, the desire for affectionate companionship or for motherly tenderness towards children already existing; for those who are unfavourable it is a lust of the flesh. In like manner there are two estimates of the conduct of a divorced woman who marries again during her first husband’s lifetime.

Illegitimate Unions.

Cohabitation in large Towns.

Customs of the Lower Classes.

We may now approach the subject of illegitimate unions. In societies where they are tolerated the idea of companionship prevails; in societies where they are not tolerated the physical aspect of the union immediately suggests itself. In the large towns both of England and France it is not rare amongst the lower classes for men and women to live together without formal marriage. With reference to these cases the complaint of moralists is that the people have no proper sense of the necessity of marriage, they have not the proper consciousness that they are doing wrong. The reason is that these unions are permitted by the customs of the lower classes, and are scarcely blamed when the man remains faithful to the woman and treats her well; therefore the physical relation is as much ignored as it is in formal marriage, and companionship alone is thought of.

Illicit Unions in the Artistic and Intellectual Classes.

The same great power of custom, in casting a veil over the grosser side of the sexual relation, is seen in higher classes whenever illicit unions are tolerated by public opinion, and they often are so in the artistic and intellectual classes of great capitals when it is evident that the union is one of genuine companionship, and when it is of a lasting character, and both parties remain at least apparently faithful to it. Here is an expression of this toleration by M. Alfred Asseline, true for Paris, but not true for the provinces. I give it in the original, because the exact shades of expression could not easily be reproduced in a translation.