Orthodoxy.
Morality.
I think it may fairly be said that there is more marrying simply for marriage in France than in England. What I mean may be made clearer by a particular instance. A French lady once told me and several other people that her son was going to be married. “Who is the young lady?” I inquired. “Oh,” she answered, “I only mean that my son has decided to marry, he has not yet fixed upon any young lady; that is a matter for future consideration.” This, I should say, is very characteristic of French habits of thought about marriage. A young Frenchman will live on for some years without troubling his head about the matter, when suddenly, nobody knows why, he will come to the conclusion that he ought to get married, and then he will very likely ask some old lady to manage the business for him. In the clerical party marriages are often made by priests, who have great influence in finding rich girls for young men likely to be dutiful sons of the Church. Open unbelievers cannot hope to benefit by these influences. In England also a reputation for strict orthodoxy is very valuable to a young gentleman at the time of marriage; it is, in fact, or certainly was some years ago, more valuable than a reputation for morality. I myself have known instances of young Englishmen who married well and were known to be immoral, when they would not have had the most distant chance of “marrying money” if they had not been regular attendants at divine worship.
The Author’s Opinion.
My own opinions on these matters are of little consequence to any one, but as a writer is constantly exposed to misrepresentation, I will state them very briefly in self-defence. It seems to me that marriage may be undertaken from a variety of motives and be fairly happy, either in France or England, but that the only foundation of the best happiness is companionship. How this ideal is to be realised every one must judge for himself. In my opinion it depends much more upon mental sympathy than on equality of fortune or rank, or even on identity of nationality. Marriage is a life-long conversation, and I have never found that conversation with any lady was more interesting because she had money in her purse.
Partial Prudence.
Rashness of “arranged” Unions.
Again, with regard to the use of the words “prudence” and “prudent” concerning marriage, I should say that these words are employed far too exclusively, both in France and England, with reference to pecuniary considerations, which are not the whole of prudence but only a very limited part of it. To marry a person whom you have never seen, or of whose character, gifts, and tastes you know only what can be learned in one or two short and formal interviews, is an act of the wildest imprudence, however wealthy the person may be, and this kind of utter rashness is exceedingly common amongst French people, who are prudent to excess in all that touches fortune. One consideration, especially, exhibits this rashness in its true character. To marry a woman of whom you know nothing is to entrust your children to a woman of whom you know as little.
CHAPTER IV
INTERCOURSE
Comparative Sociability.