ODE VI[136]
Address to a Learned Pig
Of Particular Eminence, who, in a certain Great City, was visited by
Persons of the First Taste and Distinction
O thou, marked out by Fate from vulgar swine,
Among the learned of our age to shine,
On whom 'squires, ladies, parsons, come to gaze,
Bold, science-loving pig,
Who, without gown or wig
Can force your way through learning's thorny maze
—How many high learned wights in days of old
(Whom Fame has with the great enrolled)
Starved by their wits—were banished, hanged, or sold;
—While you, on better ages fallen, O lucky swine!
Can by your wit on pyes and sweetmeats dine—
When house and lands are gone and spent,
Then learning is most excellent—
(So says a proverb through the world well known)—
You, that were pigged to grovel in a stye,
Have left your swill for science high:—
Without a rival of your race,
You hold a most distinguished place—
All that the heart can wish flows in to you,
Who real happiness pursue,
And are well fed, on whate'er hog stye thrown.
Now, if one had the chance to choose one's state
On this world's stage, and not controuled by Fate,
Who would not wish to have his little brains
Lodged in the head of Learned Pig,
Rather than be a man, and toil, and sweat, and dig
With all the sense the human scull contains.
With Us, we all are wise, we all things know,
But every pig—inferior is to you—
The rest are fools and simpletons—and so—
What, next, will be the science You attain?
Science!—to You, that opens all her store?—
Already have you in your sapient brain
More than most aldermen—and gumption more
Than some, who capers cut on Congress floor.
May we not hope, in this improving age
Of human things—to see on Terra's stage
Hogs take the lead of men, and from their styes
To honours, riches, office, rise!
Adepts in Latin, Commerce, Physick, Law?—
From what is seen, such inference we draw—
[136] Text from the edition of 1809. Originally in the Time-Piece, October 27, 1797, with the following introduction: