Mr Carter rides to Westmoreland Court. By him I send my Letters to Mr Blain, who is going to the Congress—Ben seems to be no better; has a slight Fever, pain in his Breast, & Uneasiness, I fear he is bordering on a Consumption—His fond Mother discovers great Anxiety, & true affection. Once I too had a fond indulgent Mother; when I was sick, or otherwise distress'd, She was always impatient til my Health & Ease returned; & She used to urge me likewise by precept & example to strive for an habitual Preparation for Sickness and Death! But oh! She has gone & left me, & Friendship seems to have been buried with her!—Formality & Pretence are common enough, but Sincerity & affection are exceeding rare—Mrs Carter thinks it better for Ben to sleep at the Great-House til he grows better, for the advantage of giving him medicine—I seem now when it is late in the Evening, lonely, & a little fearful, at least I think on what I made a Subject for a merry Hour, when I was at Home last, & a young Lady was complaining of being fearful at Night, & afraid to sleep in a Room alone—There are now (asleep I suppose) in this House, below Stairs Mr Randolph, & Mr Burney the Cooper; two clever lusty youngsters, & in the Room next to mine Bob & Harry sleep—I feel yet gloomy; Ben is missing, & which is worse, he is sick—
Wednesday 31.
Last Fryday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Teusday, & this Day have been perfectly fair, but yesterday & to Day are very hot—Ben quits reading & is quite unwell—Dined with us Mr Wadman: He is, I believe, a Man of a good understanding, but desperate in his religious Principles—
One other Calm, sunny, sweltering day
The Colonel says it is the hottest Day we have had—I keep myself caged up in my Room, & cannot venture out on my usual walk or Ride for exercise—Through divine goodness I continue in perfect Health, but as skinny & meagre as tho' I was continually sick—Ben seems a little more pert today—Evening it Lightens in the North West.
Fryday 2.
Extreme hot to day—Yesterday a Negro Child about six years old sickened as to appearance with the Ague & Fever, & to Day about eleven in the morning it expired! It is remarkable that the Mother has now lost seven successively, none of which have arrived to be ten years old!—The Negroes all seem much alarm'd, & our School make it a Subject for continual Speculation; They seem all to be free of any terror at the Prescence of Death; Harry in special signified a Wish that his turn may be next. I should be glad if his desire were wise; & he was as fit for the business of the other world, as he seems willing to leave the business of this—In the evening this unexpected Death was the Subject of Conversation in the House—Mr Carter observed, that he thought it the most desirable to die of a Short Illness. If he could have his Wish he would not lie longer than two days; be taken with a Fever, which should have such an unusual effect on his Body as to convince him that it would be fatal, and gradually increase till it affected a Dissolution—He told us that his affairs are in Such a state that he should be able to dictate a Will which might be written in five Minutes, & contain the disposal of his estate agreeable to his mind—He mentioned to us the Substance—"That he would leave Mrs Carter 6000£ Serling; & leave the remainder of his Estate to be disposed among his children as the Law directs."—
He told us likewise, with great firmness, that if he hives [lives] to see his children grown, he will pay no regard to age, but give his wealth to Him who bids fairest to be useful to mankind—That he allows all an equal oppertunity of improvement, but the One who is found then improved shall with the Learning inherit also the Substance—Dennis the Lad who waits at Table, I took into the School to day at his Fathers request, He can spell words of one syllable pretty readily. He is to come as he finds oppertunity.
Saturday 3.