At four o’clock the doors of the palace were closed. We were prisoners! The composite regiment had been relieved by a regiment from the garrison of Tsarkoïe-Selo, and the soldiers on sentry duty were there not to protect us, but to keep guard over us.
At eleven o’clock on the morning of the 22nd the Czar arrived, accompanied by Prince Dolgorouky, the Marshal of the Court. He went straight up to the children’s room, where the Czarina was waiting for him.
After luncheon he went into the room of Alexis Nicolaïevitch, where I was, and greeted me with his usual unaffected kindness. But I could tell by his pale, worn face that he too had suffered terribly during his absence.
Yet, despite the circumstances, the Czar’s return was a day of rejoicing to his family. The Czarina and Marie Nicolaïevna, as well as the other children, when they had been told what had occurred, had been a prey to such dreadful doubts and fears on his account! It was a great comfort to be all together in such times of trial. It seemed as if it made their troubles less unbearable, and as if their boundless love for each other was a dynamic force which enabled them to face any degree of suffering.
In spite of the self-control which was habitual with the Czar, he was unable to conceal his immense distress, though his soon recovered in the bosom of his family. He spent most of the day with them, and otherwise read or went for walks with Prince Dolgorouky. At first he had been forbidden to go into the park, and was only allowed the enjoyment of a small garden contiguous to the palace. It was still under snow. A cordon of sentries was posted round it.
Yet the Czar accepted all these restraints with extraordinary serenity and moral grandeur. No word of reproach ever passed his lips. The fact was that his whole being was dominated by one passion, which was more powerful even than the bonds between himself and his family—love of country. We felt he was ready to forgive anything to those who were inflicting such humiliations upon him so long as they were capable of saving Russia.
THE CZARINA’S ROOM IN THE ALEXANDER PALACE. ON THE WALL “MARIE ANTOINETTE AND HER CHILDREN,” A TAPESTRY AFTER MADAME VIGEE-LEBRUN’S PICTURE PRESENTED BY THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT.