When Freddy had withered the old man with a glance, and more champagne had been dealt out all round, Squiff, who had been carrying on a sotto voce conversation with Miss Childe since the beginning of the meal, suddenly looked up and remarked, ‘Kiddy’s going to dance the “Can-can” for us after lunch.’
When I noticed the startling change which passed over the features of the Blubber, I fancied that he must have seen this graceful display of agility before, and I subsequently found the aged reprobate with his eye glued to the keyhole.
Freddy then proposed the health of the ‘Cannibal Girl’ Company in a neat little speech, in the course of which he mentioned that he never knew Cannibal girls wore so many clothes before.
‘I haven’t noticed anything excessive,’ put in Reggie, who had hitherto been obscured by the shapely form of Miss Trimmer. He mentioned that he thought three such pretty wives were entirely wasted on an old Mormon like Caskowiski, especially as some of us hadn’t even one apiece.
After this the tables were hastily cleared, and a few minutes later the Bursar of Thomas’, as he passed up St. Aldate’s, was edified by the spectacle of a large and interested crowd collected in front of the Maison Squiff. At the first glance he could only make out the back portion of someone who appeared to be conducting an orchestra, a hideous discord proceeding from the room; but on putting on his glasses he descried a gentleman standing on a chair and holding a top hat, which a lady, who was making a marvellous display of lingerie, kicked with astounding frequency amid loud applause. ‘The whole forming,’ as he subsequently remarked to his friend, a genial Tutor, ‘A motht degwading thpectacle for the undegwaduate, though, between ourthelves, I’ve theldom theen it better done, even at the Folies Berthères. I hope,’ he added plaintively, ‘that thethe young thcoundrelth didn’t thee me watching from the other thide of the threet.’ The Tutor, a request for more details meeting with no response, clutched his hat and started hastily for St. Aldate’s.
After the dance was finished, it was discovered that Ruby and Reggie had silently left the room, ‘in order,’ as he subsequently explained, ‘to talk over Freddy’s stamp collection.’ We left them in possession of the drawing room, and departed in couples for the river, most of us turning up again just in time for Hall.
On the following day we could see nothing of the dear girls as they had a matinée, and the Rajah succeeded in capturing them for tea. Owing to this I was able to meet Freddy, who was coming from his law lecture at St. Spirits’, about 12 o’clock, at Carfax: and having picked up Accrington at the O.U.D.S., we made our way to Butler’s, the florist’s. Here we encountered one of those startling obstacles that turn the brightest sunshine into overwhelming darkness.
‘We are very sorry, sir, but our Mr. Butler says he can’t possibly send any more bouquets round to the theatre on credit,’ said the slim young person in charge of the shop, with a weary air. As we could not manage to make up the requisite amount between us, Freddy, after a little tactful persuasion, induced her to fetch the proprietor from his lunch.
The sight of one of the Earl of Paunbrough’s cards, of which Freddy keeps a large stock for cases analogous to this, produced an immediate effect upon the obsequious Butler, and he readily consented to supply us with three arum lilies, some moss and a furlong of wire, the whole done up most artistically with the College ribbon, for the absurdly small price of two guineas. This arduous duty successfully performed, we returned to our respective luncheons promising to meet again at the Hyde at 6.30, when a few of us were going to dine together. On my way home I saw Verimisti, the Italian Count from King’s, who was madly in love with Lucinda Tubb, a lady whose youth has long been out of sight, though she still keeps it in mind, and often refers to it. That afternoon the Unregenerate narrowly escaped a terrible calamity which might have thrown us all into the deepest mourning and put a sudden end to our innocent jollity. Squiff, who was fielding out in the deep, had been standing at ease for about half-an-hour, when he suddenly bethought him of a photograph of the fair Kiddy in his pocket, and having extracted it, was gazing at it with soulful intensity, when the ball descending like a meteor, struck him violently on the head; but thanks to a cabbage-leaf in his hat and an abnormally thick skull no great damage was done.