‘This,’ said Freddy wearily, as he threw a cream coloured envelope upon the table, ‘is too much of a good thing; here’s an official announcement from Aunt Julia that she and her companion, a cheery young thing of sixty-five, are coming up for a fortnight to enjoy the ‘boating-races;’ she casually remarks that the girls have only one day vacant and that a Sunday, so that it will not be worth while their putting in an appearance.’ ‘Her postscript,’ he added, with a look of the deepest disgust, ‘runs as follows: “Dear Ophelia”—that’s the old girl’s satellite—“is very anxious to see something of real Oxford life, and hopes that you will arrange a visit with some nice young fellows to the Bodleian or the Martyrs’ Memorial.”’
‘Pouff,’ blew the Pilot expressively, ‘what are our relations coming to; but, if it isn’t rude, who is Aunt Julia?’
‘Julia Claudia Letitia Fanny, Dowager Lady Blitherington,’ recited Freddy, ‘her husband was Sir Hophni Jenkins of the Weekly Eraser, who bought a peerage by settling a Minister’s cab fares about forty years ago. But seriously, we must get the girls.’
‘Oh yes, we must get the girls,’ echoed Squiff. ‘They’re awful sportswomen, I met them last year at the Addison Ball.’
‘Oh yes, I remember them too,’ said Reggie. ‘They nearly ran me off my feet, and I finally settled with Maisie in the Senior Tutor’s rooms, where we sat out a considerable portion of the programme, and incidentally consumed all the strawberries left on the Reverend gentleman’s table.’
‘I fancy,’ said Freddy reflectively, ‘that they go rather too fast for Aunt Julia, who, despite the decidedly risqué tone of the Weekly Eraser, is not as enlightened as she should be. I must write to Muriel myself, I expect they’ve only got some wretched country visit which they can easily put off. We couldn’t stand Aunt Julia unadulterated.’
‘Where did Miss Ophelia spring from?’ put in the Pilot, whose curiosity is insatiable.
‘Oh, she was one of the bathing attendants at Margate when Aunt Julia went down there in sixty-five, and she took such a fancy to her that she’s kept her ever since.’
‘We’d better arrange a joint picnic for all our relatives one day,’ remarked Reggie, who often has these brilliant inspirations; ‘it will save a lot of trouble, and they’ll all be pleased.’