‘O the right if it’s left, but if that isn’t right the left,’ said the Pilot gravely, as he heaved a book at Reggie and a sigh to himself, and drifted off to bed.
When Reggie and I came down at 10.30 next morning we found the Pilot interrogating Mrs. McNab as to how she thought trifle and Charlotte Russe would go with cold lamb and salmon mayonnaise.
The worthy lady, whose brain already reeled at the thought of the entertainments to be given at our lodgings during the week, was standing in the doorway murmuring to herself ‘hadd a piece of nutmeg an bile the ’ole in a pudden’ clorth.’
Soon after she had gone, a large brake stopped at our door and the occupants in no mild terms requested Reggie and the Pilot to come out at once, if they did not wish to go where the refrigerator is of no avail.
They obeyed the call, but the Pilot in addition to his cricket bag carried several wine lists and Hooper’s catalogue of ‘cold dishes for picnic parties.’
In order to avoid a meeting with the Bugg, of whom I foresaw we should see a great deal, I motored over to Banbury for lunch with de Beresford. Thus it befell that I missed the most exciting scene of the day when Jacob fell into the river and was rescued by a Humane Society’s man, while the Bugg who had fainted on the Barabbas’ barge was revived by a drop of the bargeman’s private store of brandy.
The crowd at the station, when we got there next day to receive Blitherington and the girls, was something terrific. Nearly every member of the University appeared to be expecting female relations, and most of them must have been satisfied, for the crowd by the 11.50 was simply colossal, though our cheery trio were conspicuous by their absence. After two or three minutes of unavailing search we secured a harassed official who was buzzing round the mouth of the guard’s van, and he assured us that a relief train would arrive in ten minutes, so we possessed ourselves in patience and admired our friends’ sisters.
We were presented to Mrs. and Miss Accrington and had just caught sight of de Beresford escorting his mother and her niece, the Honourable Violet McNeill, who is generally admitted to be the most charming débutante of the season, when the relief train steamed in and a second scene of confusion ensued. Freddy, who is very quick in all things, sorted out from a first-class carriage a faultlessly dressed young man with a monocle and a pink-and-white complexion and two extremely pretty girls, whom he introduced as my cousins Miss Coffington, Miss Muriel Coffington, and Lord Blitherington.
His lordship created the first sensation by enquiring, ‘Is there a really good pawnshop down here?’
‘Yes,’ said Maisie, ‘we picked him up in the Burlington Arcade yesterday, kept him till this morning, gave him sixpence for a shave and brought him down here, and now we’re all three cleaned out; but he’s brought his gold-mounted dressing case to stay with a local Hebrew, and so it’ll be pay day for everybody to-morrow. Now let’s get up to the village inn.’