Soldier on Inspection.—There was in camp a little scrawny fellow that took the world easy when things went his way, but when he got wrong he was very much wrong and was at war with everybody and seemed to think that everybody’s hand was raised against him. He was a faithful, loyal soldier and would have died rather than play off to screen himself from a fight. He was always out of clothing, rations, money and everything that a soldier needed and was out with everyone who would not divide with him, but was liberal and honest and would pay his debts if it took his last dollar. At pay day it usually took all he received to pay his debts and then he was borrowing again. He paid very little attention to cleanliness, consequently no one cared to tent or bunk with him and he was often by himself although socially inclined. At such times he would sing songs sometimes a little smutty and whistle popular airs. He would say some very harsh things about officers and some of them very much wished for a chance to get even with him. On one occasion on inspection, the inspecting officer complained that his gun was not properly cleaned and ordered him to his quarters, putting on him the punishment of thirty minutes work cleaning his gun. He returned to his quarters with the rest of the company, feeling resentful, and with an oath slammed the gun to the ground, consigning it with the inspector to a region supposed to be hot and heavily charged with the odor of sulphur. He gloomily sulked for thirty minutes and in sheer desperation picked up his gun and reported as ordered to the inspector, expecting to be sent to the guard house, but was surprised when told by the officer that his gun looked much better, admonishing him to hereafter do as the others did and he would not have to do extra work on his gun and pleasantly excused him.
Recruit on Guard.—On one occasion the officer of the guard around camp was a young lieutenant who had a very exalted opinion of himself and was glad of an opportunity to show his authority. One of the guard was a recruit detailed for the first time to do guard duty. He had fallen on the third relief and had lain down to rest until his time came. Nothing unusual occurred the first two hours, but after the second relief was posted the lieutenant made his rounds and returned to the camp fire and had a big laugh with the old soldiers present. He had taken the gun from a timid recruit, had the poor fellow badly scared and boastingly said that he would take every recruits’ gun that belonged to the guard. The third relief was placed and the recruit stationed at his post, walked his beat and kept a sharp lookout, especially for the lieutenant. Finally he heard the rattle of his sword as he approached and when he got in challenging distance, said: “Halt who comes there?” The lieutenant answered: “Friend with the countersign.” The sentinel then said “Advance friend and give the countersign.” The officer corrected him saying “Advance friend with the countersign,” and was briskly walking right up to him. The recruit quickly brought his gun to the position of charge bayonets, and again demanded the countersign. He was then almost in bayonet reach, gave the countersign and expecting to throw the sentinel off his guard, made a movement as if to pass on but really intended to take his gun. The sentinel made him pass around him at a distance not in bayonet reach which he did without further parley. After he had passed he said, “If you don’t mind you will get in the guard house.” The recruit replied saying, “I know my duty,” but was getting some thrilling experience while being initiated.
An Economical Soldier.—A quiet careful soldier for several days saved of his rations scraps of beef and scrapings of flour until he collected enough to make a beef pie which was regarded as a luxury in camp.
The pie was nicely made and spicely cooked,
And the boys at it greedily looked;
The soldier happy with a broad grin
Commenced taking the rich pie in.
Near by in the crowd was a hungry boy looking about
As if he could breed a famine and starve it out;
He stood the test for a little while