"Now to come back to the question of the Boxer Rising. How badly I was treated by my own servants. No one seemed anxious to go with me, and a great many ran away before the Court had any idea of leaving the Capital at all, and those who stayed would not work, but stood around and waited to see what was going to happen. I made up my mind to ask and see how many would be willing to go, so I said to everyone: 'If you servants are willing to go with me, you can do so, and those who are not willing, can leave me.' I was very much surprised to find that there were very few standing around listening. Only seventeen eunuchs, two old women servants and one servant girl, that was Sho Chu. Those people said they would go with me, no matter what happened. I had 3,000 eunuchs, but they were nearly all gone before I had the chance of counting them. Some of the wicked ones were even rude to me, and threw my valuable vases on the stone floor, and smashed them. They knew that I could not punish them at that important moment, for we were leaving. I cried very much and prayed for our Great Ancestors' Souls to protect us. Everyone knelt with me and prayed. The Young Empress was the only one of my family who went with me. A certain relative of mine, whom I was very fond of, and gave her everything she asked, refused to go with me. I knew that the reason she would not go was because she thought the foreign soldiers would catch up the runaway Court, and kill everyone.
"After we had been gone about seven days, I sent one eunuch back, to find out who was still in Peking. She asked this eunuch whether there were any foreign soldiers chasing us, and whether I was killed. Soon after the Japanese soldiers took her Palace, and drove her out. She thought she was going to die anyway, and as I was not yet assassinated, she might catch up with the Court, and go with us. I could not understand how she traveled so fast. One evening we were staying at a little country house, when she came in with her husband, a nice man. She was telling me how much she had missed me, and how very anxious she had been all that time to know whether I was safe or not, and cried. I refused to listen to what she was saying and told her plainly that I did not believe a word. From that time she was finished for me. I had a very hard time, traveling in a sedan chair, from early morning, before the sun rose, until dark and in the evening had to stop at some country place. I am sure you would pity me, old as I am, that I should have had to suffer in that way.
"The Emperor went all the way in a cart, drawn by a mule, also the Empress. I went along, and was praying to our Great Ancestors for protection, but the Emperor was very quiet, and never opened his mouth. One day something happened. It rained so much and some of the chair carriers ran away. Some of the mules died suddenly. It was very hot, and the rain was pouring down on our heads. Five small eunuchs ran away also, because we were obliged to punish them the night before on account of their bad behavior to the Magistrate, who did all he could to make me comfortable, but of course food was scarce. I heard these eunuchs quarreling with the Magistrate, who bowed to the ground, begging them to keep quiet, and promised them everything. I was of course very angry. Traveling under such circumstances one ought to be satisfied that one was provided for.
"It took us more than a month before we reached Shi An. I cannot tell you how fatigued I was, and was of course worrying very much, which made me quite ill for almost three months. So long as I live I cannot forget it.
"We returned to Peking early in the twenty-eighth year of Kwang Hsu and I had another dreadful feeling when I saw my own Palace again. Oh! it was quite changed; a great many valuable ornaments broken or stolen. All the valuable things at the Sea Palace had been taken away, and someone had broken the fingers of my white jade Buddha, to whom I used to worship every day. Several foreigners sat on my throne and had their photos taken. When I was at the Shi An I was just like being sent into exile, although the Viceroy's Yamen was prepared for us, but the building was very old, damp and unhealthy. The Emperor became ill. It would take a long time to tell you everything; I thought I had enough trouble, but this last was the worst. When I have time, I will tell you more about it. I want you to know the absolute truth.
"Now let us come back to the question of Mrs. Conger's private audience. There must be something special, but I hope that she will not ask for anything, for I hate to refuse her. Can you guess what it is?" I told Her Majesty that there could not be anything special; besides, Mrs. Conger considered herself to be a person who knew Chinese etiquette very well, and I didn't believe she would ask for anything at all. Her Majesty said: "The only objection I have is that Mrs. Conger always brings one of the missionaries as her interpreter, when I have your mother, your sister and yourself, which I think should be sufficient. I don't think it is right for her to do that; besides, I cannot understand their Chinese very well. I like to see the ladies of the Diplomatic body sometimes, but not the missionaries. I will stop that when the opportunity comes."
The next morning Prince Ching told Her Majesty that the American Admiral, and Mrs. Evans, and suite wished to be presented to her. The American Minister asked two private audiences. He said he had made a mistake by telling her that Mrs. Conger had asked an audience for herself, the day before.
After the regular morning audience was over Her Majesty laughed and said: "Didn't I tell you yesterday that there must be a reason for asking an audience? I rather would like to meet the American Admiral and his wife." Turning to us she said: "Be sure and fix everything up pretty, change everything in my bedroom, so as not to show them our daily life." We all said "Jur" (yes), but we knew it was going to be a hard task to turn the Palace upside down.
It was just the night before the appointed audience. We started to work taking off the pink silk curtains from every window, and changing them for sky blue (the color she hated); then we changed the cushions on the chairs to the same color. While we were watching the eunuchs doing the work, several of them came into the room, carrying a large tray full of clocks. By this time her Majesty had come into the room, and ordered us to remove all her white and green jade Buddhas and take some of the jade ornaments away, for those things were sacred, and no foreigners should see them, so we replaced them with these clocks, instead. We also took away the three embroidered door curtains, and changed them for ordinary blue satin ones. I must explain that these three curtains were sacred, too. They were embroidered to represent five hundred Buddhist deities, on old gold satin, and had been used by Emperor Tou Kwang. Her Majesty believed that by hanging these curtains at her door they would guard against evil spirits entering her room. The order was that one of us should remember to place them back again when the audience was over. We fixed every piece of furniture in her bedroom. Her toilet table was the most important thing. She would not let anyone see it-not even the wives of the Officials who came in, so of course we had to put it in a safe place, and lock it up. We changed her bed from pink color into blue. All her furniture was made of sandalwood, also carvings on her bed. This sandalwood, before it was made into furniture, was placed in different temples, to be sanctified, so of course no foreigner could see it. As we could not take this carving from her bed, we covered it up with embroidered hangings. While we were working Her Majesty came in and told us not to hurry in her bedroom, because the audience the next day would only be for Admiral Robley Evans and his staff, and they would not visit the private rooms. The audience for Mrs. Evans and the other ladies would be the day after. She said it was important to see that the Audience Hall was fixed up properly. She said: "Place the only carpet we have here in the hall. I don't like carpets anyway, but it cannot be helped."
After we had finished, Her Majesty started to tell us what to wear for the ladies' audience. She said to me: "You need not come to the throne to-morrow, there will only be gentlemen. I will get one of the Ministers from Wai-Wu-Pu (Bureau of Foreign Affairs). I don't want you to talk to so many strange men. It is not the Manchu custom. These people are all strangers. They might go back to America and tell everybody what you look like." At the same time Her Majesty gave orders for the Imperial Yellow Gown to be brought in next day, for the gentleman's audience. She said that she must dress in her official robe for this occasion. This robe was made of yellow satin, embroidered with gold dragons. She wore a necklace composed of one hundred and eight pearls, which formed part of this official dress. She said: "I don't like to wear this official robe. It is not pretty, but I am afraid I will have to." She said to all of us: "You need not dress especially."