She was silent, as she took off her gloves.
“She cries and cries, and then suddenly she screams in abject fright.... I keep on hearing those screams. I can’t sleep for them. Oh, God! it’s too awful.”
The nurse had quietly entered. “I’m so glad you have come, Mrs. Currey. You always had such an influence over her. Will you come in? She’s been listening for your arrival.”
It was something resembling a very young child that threw itself with cries and sobs into her arms, when she went to the bedside. Claudia knelt down and held her tightly and silently to her breast. What words could she use to the poor, frightened soul, that did not sound puerile and meaningless? Even if she had herself believed in the orthodox Heaven, Fay was too fond of this world to have found any comfort in the visionary prospect. If only the curtain had killed her outright on that fatal night! That moment of surprise would have been her only pang, and now——
“I don’t want to die,” sobbed Fay. “I’m young. I’m only twenty-two. It’s wicked, it’s wicked.... I won’t be resigned. Nurse says I ought to be. But she isn’t going to die.”
“Fay, dear, I know it’s terribly hard.... I shan’t ask you to be resigned. But will you listen to me for a few minutes?”
“Yes, I will—if you don’t want me to be resigned. Young people can’t be resigned, can they?”
“No, but they can fight. Fay, have I ever told you how much I admire you for the way you’ve risen in your profession?” The sobbing grew quieter. “I’ve never had to do anything for my living, and I don’t suppose I can imagine one tenth part of the difficulty with which people do earn their living—the competition, the horrid spectres which people of my class never see, the fear of breaking down, of not having enough at the end of the week to pay the rent, to find food and clothing. You were earning a splendid salary when—the accident happened, but you didn’t always, did you?”
“Not much. The first few years after mother died I had precious little, an engagement here and there, and a good many times I didn’t know where the tin was coming from to pay the landlady.”
“I know. I guessed all that, because very few people ‘arrive’ without making a big fight. I’m sure you made a splendid fight. You hung on to the managers and agents till they gave you engagements, and you set your teeth together and said to yourself, ‘I won’t be done,’ didn’t you?”