Advice to a Mother on the Management of Her Children

by Pye Henry Chavasse

Let every word and action prove that you love your children. Enter into all their little pursuits and pleasures. Join them in their play, and be a "child again!" If they are curious, do not check their curiosity; but rather encourage it; for they have a great deal—as we all have—to learn, and how can they know if they are not taught? You may depend upon it the knowledge they obtain from observation is far superior to that obtained from books. Let all you teach them, let all you do, and let all you say bear the stamp of love. "Endeavour, from first to last, in your intercourse with your children, to let it bear the impress of love. It is not enough that you feel affection towards your children—that you are devoted to their interests; you must show in your manner the fondness of your hearts towards them. Young minds cannot appreciate great sacrifices made for them; they judge their parents by the words and deeds of every-day life. They are won by little kindnesses, and alienated by little acts of neglect or impatience. One complaint unnoticed, one appeal unheeded, one lawful request arbitrarily refused, will be remembered by your little ones more than a thousand acts of the most devoted affection."—The Protoplast.

A placid, well-regulated temper is very conducive to health. A disordered, or an over-loaded stomach, is a frequent cause of peevishness. Appropriate treatment in such a case will, of course, be necessary.

169. My child stammers: can you tell me the cause, and can you suggest a remedy?

A child who stammers is generally "nervous," quick, and impulsive. His ideas flow too rapidly for speech. He is "nervous;" hence, when he is alone, and with those he loves, he oftentimes speaks fluently and well; he stammers more both when he is tired and when he is out of health—when the nerves are either weak or exhausted. He is emotional: when he is either in a passion or in excitement, either of joy or of grief, he can scarcely speak—"he stammers all over." He is impulsive: he often stammers in consequence. He is in too great a hurry to bring out his words; they do not flow in proper sequence: hence his words are broken and disjointed.

Stammering, of course, might be owing either to some organic defect, such as from defective palate, or from defective brain, then nothing will cure him; or it might be owing to "nervous" causes—to "irregular nervous action," then a cure might, with care and perseverance, be usually effected.

In all cases of stammering of a child, let both the palate of his mouth and the bridle of his tongue be carefully examined, to see that neither the palate be defective, nor the bridle of the tongue be too short—that he be not tongue-tied.

Now, with regard to Treatment.—Make him speak slowly and deliberately: let him form each word, without clipping or chopping; let him be made, when you are alone with him, to exercise himself in elocution. If he speak quickly, stop him in his mid-career, and make him, quietly and deliberately, go through the sentence again and again, until he has mastered the difficulty; teach him to collect his thoughts, and to weigh each word ere he give it utterance; practise him in singing little hymns and songs for children; this you will find a valuable help in the cure. A stammerer seldom stutters when he sings. When he sings, he has a full knowledge of the words, and is obliged to keep in time—to sing neither too fast nor too slow. Besides, he sings in a different key to his speaking voice. Many professors for the treatment of stammering cure their patients by practising lessons of a sing-song character.

Never jeer him for stammering, nor turn him to ridicule; if you do, it will make him ten times worse; but be patient and gentle with him, and endeavour to give him confidence, and encourage him to speak to you as quietly, as gently, and deliberately as you speak to him; tell him not to speak, until he has arranged his thoughts and chosen his words; let him do nothing in a hurry.

Demosthenes was said, in his youth, to have stammered fearfully, and to have cured himself by his own prescription, namely, by putting a pebble in his mouth, and declaiming, frequently, slowly quietly, and deliberately, on the sea-shore—the fishes alone being his audience,— until at length he cured himself, and charmed the world with his eloquence and with his elocution. He is held up, to this very day, as the personification and as the model of an orator. His patience, perseverance, and practice ought, by all who either are, or are, interested in a stammerer, to be borne in mind and followed.

170. Do you approve of a carpet in a nursery?