Advice to a wife and mother in two parts

by Pye Henry Chavasse

Let me advise you, then, Mr. Paterfamilias, to be careful how you converse, what language you use, while in the company of your child. Bear in mind, a child is very observant, and thinks much, weighs well, and seldom forgets all you say and all you do? Let no hasty word, then, and more especially no oath, or no impious language, ever pass your lips, if your child is within hearing. It is, of course, at all times wicked to swear; but it is heinously and unpardonably sinful to swear in the presence of your child! “Childhood is like a mirror, catching and reflecting images. One impious or profane thought, uttered by a parent’s lip, may operate upon the young heart like a careless spray of water thrown upon polished steel, staining it with rust, which no after-scouring can efface.”

Never talk secrets before a child—“little pitchers have long ears;” if you do, and he disclose your secrets,—as most likely he will,—and thus make mischief, it will be cruel to scold him; you will, for your imprudence, have yourself only to blame. Be most careful, then, in the presence of your child, of what you say and of whom you speak. This advice, if followed, might save a great deal of annoyance and vexation.

182. Are you an advocate for a child being taught singing?

I am; I consider singing a part of a child’s education. Singing expands the walls of the chest, strengthens and invigorates the lungs, gives sweetness to the voice, improves the pronunciation, and is a great pleasure and amusement to a child.

SLEEP.

183. Do you approve of a child sleeping on a FEATHER bed?

A feather bed enervates his body, and, if he be so predisposed, causes rickets, and makes him crooked. A horse-hair mattress is the best for a child to lie on. The pillow, too, should be made of horse-hair. A feather pillow often causes the head to be bathed in perspiration, thus enervating the child and making him liable to catch cold. If he be at all rickety, if he be weak in the neck, if he be inclined to stoop, or if he be at all crooked, let him, by all means, lie without a pillow.

184. Do you recommend a child, in the middle of the day, to be put to sleep?

Let him be put on his mattress awake at twelve o’clock, that he may sleep for an hour or two before dinner, then he will rise both refreshed and strengthened for the remainder of the day. I said, let him be put down awake. He might, for the first few times, cry; but, by perseverance, he will without any difficulty fall to sleep. The practice of sleeping before dinner ought to be continued until he be two years old, and if he can be prevailed upon, even longer. For if he do not have sleep in the middle of the day, he will all the afternoon and the evening be cross; and when he does go to bed, he will probably be too tired to sleep, or his nerves, having been exhausted by the long wakefulness, he will fall into a troubled, broken slumber, and not into that sweet, soft, gentle repose, so characteristic of healthy, happy childhood!

185. At what hour ought a child to be put to bed in the evening?