Advice to a wife and mother in two parts

by Pye Henry Chavasse

186. By adopting the dictates of reason and of common sense, many of the nervous, useless, lackadaisical, fine ladies will be unknown; and we shall have instead blooming wives, who will in due time become the mothers of hardy, healthy, happy children.

187. In the foregoing pages the burden of my song has been health—the preservation of health—the most precious of God’s gifts, and one that is frittered and fooled away as though it were but of little value. Health ought to be the first consideration of all, and of every young wife especially, as, when she is married, her life, her health is not altogether her own, but her husband’s and her family’s. Oh! it is a glorious gift, a precious boon, to be in the enjoyment of perfect health, and is worth a little care and striving for.

188. In concluding the first division of my subject, let me entreat my fair reader to ponder well on what I have already said; let her remember that she has a glorious mission; let her thoroughly understand that if good habits and good rules be not formed and followed during the first year of her wifehood, they are not at all likely to be instituted afterwards. The first year, then, is the golden opportunity to sow the seeds of usefulness; to make herself healthy and strong, and to cause her to be a blessing, a solace, and a comfort to her husband, her children, and all around her.

189. Menstruation, during a period of about thirty years, plays a momentous part in the female economy; indeed, unless it be in every way properly and duly performed, it is neither possible that such a lady can be well, nor is it at all probable that she will conceive. I therefore purpose devoting an especial chapter to its due and careful consideration.

PART I.
MENSTRUATION.

190. There are two most important epochs in the life of a woman—namely (1) the commencement, and (2) the close of menstruation. Each is apt, unless carefully watched and prevented, to bring in its train many serious diseases. Moreover, unless menstruation be healthfully and properly performed, conception, as a rule, is not likely to take place: hence the importance of our subject.

191. Menstruation—the appearance of the catamenia or the menses—is then one of the most important epochs in a girl’s life. It is the boundary line, the landmark, between childhood and womanhood; it is the threshold, so to speak, of a woman’s life. Her body now develops and expands, and her mental capacity enlarges and improves. She then ceases to be a child, and she becomes a woman. She is now for the first time, as a rule, able to conceive.

192. Although puberty has at this time commenced, it cannot be said that she is at her full perfection; it takes eight or ten years more to complete her organization, which will bring her to the age of twenty-three or twenty-five years; which perhaps are the best ages for a woman, if she have both the chance and the inclination, to marry.

193. If she marry when very young, marriage weakens her system, and prevents a full development of the body. Besides, if she marry when she be only eighteen or nineteen, the bones of the pelvis—the bones of the lower part of the belly—are not at that time sufficiently developed; are not properly shaped for the purpose of labor; do not allow of sufficient space for the head of the child to readily pass, as though she were of the riper age of twenty-three or twenty-five. She might have in consequence a severe and dangerous confinement. If she marry late in life, say after she be thirty, the soft parts engaged in parturition are more rigid and more tense, and thus become less capable of dilatation, which might cause, for the first time, a hard and tedious labor. Again, when she marries late in life, she might not live to see her children grow up to be men and women. Moreover, as a rule, “the offspring of those that are very young or very old lasts not.” Everything, therefore, points out that the age above indicated—namely, somewhere between twenty and thirty—is the most safe and suitable time for a woman to marry.

194. Menstruation generally comes on once every month—that is to say, every twenty-eight days; usually to the very day, and frequently to the hour. Some ladies, instead of being “regular” every month, are “regular” every three weeks.