Advice to a wife and mother in two parts

by Pye Henry Chavasse

433. Fortunately for ladies the class of nurses is wonderfully improved, and the race of Sairey Gamp and Betsey Prig is nearly at an end.

434. She ought to be either a married woman or a widow. A single woman cannot so well enter into the feelings of a lying-in patient, and has not had the necessary experience. Moreover, a single woman, as a rule, is not so handy with an infant (more especially in putting him for the first time to the breast) as a married woman.

435. She must be sober, temperate, and healthy, and free from deafness and from any defect of vision. She should have a gentle voice and manner, but yet be neither melancholy nor hippish. She ought to be fond of children, and must neither mind her trouble nor being disturbed at night. She should be a light sleeper. “Scrupulous attention to cleanliness, freshness, and neatness” in her own person, and toward the lady and the infant, are most important requisites.

436. A fine lady-nurse that requires to be constantly waited upon by a servant is not the one that I would recommend. A nurse should be willing to wait upon herself, upon her mistress, and upon the baby with alacrity, with cheerfulness, and without assistance, or she is not suitable for her situation.

437. As the nurse, if she does her duty, devotes her time, her talent, and her best energies to the lady and infant, a mistress ought to be most liberal in the payment of a monthly nurse. A good one is cheap at almost any price, while a bad one, though she come for nothing, is dear indeed. A cheap nurse is frequently the ruin of the patient’s and of the baby’s health, and of the peace of a household.

438. The monthly nurse ought to be engaged early in the pregnancy, as a good nurse is caught up soon, and is full of engagements. This is most important advice. A lady frequently has to put up with an indifferent nurse from neglecting to engage her betimes. The medical man at the eleventh hour is frequently besought to perform an impossibility—to select a good nurse; and which he could readily have done if time had been given him to make the selection. Some of my best nurses are engaged by my patients as early as two or three months after the latter have conceived, in order to make sure of having their favorite nurses. My patients are quite right; a good nurse is quite of as much importance to her well-doing as a good doctor; indeed, a bad nurse oftentimes makes a good doctor’s efforts perfectly nugatory.

439. It is always desirable, whenever it be possible, that the doctor in attendance should himself select the monthly nurse, as she will then be used to his ways, and he will know her antecedents—whether she be sober, temperate, and kind, and that she understands her business, and whether she be in the habit of attending and of following out his directions, for frequently a nurse is self-opinionated, and fancies that she knows far better than the medical man. Such a nurse is to be scrupulously avoided. There cannot be two masters in a lying-in room; if there be, the unfortunate patient will inevitably be the sufferer. A doctor’s directions must be carried out to the very letter. It rests with the patient to select a judicious medical man, who, although he will be obeyed, will be kind and considerate to the nurse.

440. A monthly nurse ought to be in the house a week or ten days before the commencement of the labor, in order that there may be neither bustle nor excitement, and no hurrying to and fro at the last moment to find her; and that she may have everything prepared, and the linen well aired for the coming event.

441. She must never be allowed, unless ordered by the medical man, to give either the patient or the baby a particle of medicine. A quacking monthly nurse is an abomination. An infant who is everlastingly being drugged by a nurse is sure to be puny and delicate.

442. A monthly nurse ought to understand the manner of putting on and of tightening the bandage after a confinement. This, every night and morning, she must do. The doctor generally does it the first time himself, viz., immediately after the labor. It requires a little knack, and if the nurse be at all awkward in the matter, the medical man will only be too happy to show her the way, for he is quite aware the support, the comfort, and the advantage it will be to his patient, and he will be glad to know that the nurse herself will be able to continue putting it on properly for some weeks—for at least three weeks—after the lying-in.