Fireman Mose saw Rose, his sweetheart, with Joe, the hackman; got jealous, pitched into him—fun—thought of Tom Hood, and went off at half-cock—thus—
Enter Rose with Joe—sees Mose—Mose beaus Rose; Rose knows those beaux foes—Joe's bellicose—so's Mose—Mose blows Joe's nose—Joe's blows pose Mose—Rose Oh's—Mose hoes Joe's rows—Joe's blows chose Mose's nose—Mose shows Joe's nose blows—Joe's nose grows rose—Mose knows Joe's nose shows those blows—Joe goes—Mose crows.
Joe being whipped, and moreover being the only innocent one in the whole fight, was arrested by the vigilant and efficient police.
Damphool says that Joe treated the Emerald conservators of the public quiet, and is again at large.
Let Mose beware.
VII.
Model Boarding Houses.
Immediately upon my arrival in the city of Newsboys and Three-cent Stages, I proceeded, as is hereinbefore mentioned, to the white-faced Hotel which is surmounted by the bird called Shanghai, who seems from the top of his lofty perch where he roosts in unreachable security, to crow over neighboring boroughs, and exult in the great glory of the Manhattan Island. It required, however, but a few days to weary of the "constant noise and confusion" of this saintly mansion, and to become sick of the eternal presence of men in white aprons who are everywhere at the same time, and who are, mathematically speaking, a constant quantity.
These waiters are certainly ubiquitous; at the table there is one at each elbow, at night a stranger is escorted to bed by a grand procession, and one pulls off his boots while another unbuttons his shirt-collar, and a third lights the gas and turns down the bed-clothes; a waiter meets you at the door, another takes away your overcoat and gives it to a waiter who presents you with a brass check for it—there are waiters in the bar, in the washroom, in the barber-shop, in the cellar, in the reading-room; waiters running races through the halls all night; there is always a snowy neckerchief and an outstretched palm when you leave the premises, and on sunshiny days there is invariably a distant glimpse of a white-jacket on the roof of the house.
As soon after my arrival as I could collect my senses, and knew enough not to take every M. P. for a foreign ambassador, and pull off my hat to the Star, I deemed it advisable to search for lodgings more quiet, and not so expensive.